A LOVER DOESN'T DISCOURAGE YOUR GROWTH

Growth requires change and sometimes the process doesn’t look so pretty. Growth is often painful but the outcome is usually worth the pain. I look back at myself when I was in my 20’s and I see a completely different person than I am now. I was extremely insecure, jealous, and uncomfortable in my own skin. And I was an alcoholic. I’m not the same person I was when I met my husband at 19. That’s interesting because if my husband loved who I was at 19 and married a completely different version of me is it possible that he could still love me for who I am today at 47? I believe true love wants the best for the other person and growth is a good thing! If we’re not changing we’re not growing. True love should embrace the other persons growing pains. They should encourage growth and accept that they are unique individuals with different passions tastes desires goals and dreams. They shouldn't try to clip the others wings or fit them into their mold of normal. Those who don’t guide and support each other during these necessary life changes often grow apart or seek another. 

The day I made the decision to become sober and leave my toxic birth family I found comfort and validation in a Christian support group for daughters of Narcissistic mothers. So of course I clung to religion as my crutch to get me through that painful time of growth! If I stayed in my comfort zone of alcoholism and my dysfunctional family role I wouldn’t have grown. I would have lived a lifetime in stagnation. Cutting ties with a dysfunctional birth family is worse than a divorce and one of the bravest most painful things a person can go through. Looking back now I’m amazed and proud of myself for being able to do it! I didn’t rely on AA meetings to quit drinking I relied on myself. It wasn’t god giving me the strength and wisdom to walk away, it was me. I had to delve into religion to find out it is flawed and fraudulent, and even though I have regrets for hurting my husband and children during that time, it was a time of much needed growth and I learned a great deal about myself, religion, politics, and our country. Things that most people don’t know or even care to talk about.

I’m now at a time in my life where I no longer find comfort or belonging amongst people as much as I do alone in nature and amongst animals. I have no idea what kind of growth is coming my way, but I’m excited to venture in and find out! I don’t ever want to stop growing. I also want my children to grow and will offer support and encouragement through their own unique journey. The good, the bad, and the ugly. 

I'D RATHER HAVE A WORLD FULL OF POTHEADS THAN DRUNKS

I have no problem with alcohol or people enjoying it but I do have a problem with drunks and people abusing it. I’m not perfect and I’ve had my fair share of abusing booze myself so I know how destructive selfish and obnoxious it makes us. I also know every trick in the book drunks use to justify and disguise their toxic behaviors. Being perfect has nothing to do with it. Being responsible and accountable does. We are expected to be responsible law abiding citizens but for some reason, when it comes to booze, responsibility legality and accountability goes out the window. 

Why is booze so glorified? I often hear parents brag about buying their underage college kids booze. They provide endless booze to the underaged at football tailgate drunk fest's while the cops just tip their hats as they quietly walk by with a grin.. Again, I have nothing against enjoying alcohol. Abusing it, breaking the law, and bragging about it? Yeah, that’s a problem. Especially when these drunks end up on the highway and marijuana is demonized. 

It’s one thing to see teens or college brats drunk off their asses but it’s quit repulsive to see grown adults doing it. This is the main reason I quit drinking all together (besides the painful paralyzing hangovers) because I saw how disgusting and humiliating my certain family member was while drunk and my greatest fear was to turn into THAT. Besides, alcohol makes you fat and ugly!

Drunks are glorified and yet pot smokers stigmatized. I would much rather live in a society of stoners than loud obnoxious and belligerent drunks. They’re everywhere! Facebook is full of “glorified drunks” going off on tangents only to wake up the next morning to delete all of their shameful ignorant comments and posts. And as usual, they make a joke of it because after all “it was the booze talking NOT THEM.” Meanwhile, everyone is expected to forgive forget and move on as if nothing ever happened until the next drunken episode. BULLSHIT on that! 

What's my problem with drunks? Maybe because I’m a former drunk, (like ex smokers are supposedly the worst to rail against smokers) I see my old self in them and remember the pain I caused others? Maybe because I was raised by and surrounded with drunks most of my miserable childhood? Maybe because of the hypocrisy of how pot smokers are “criminalized” yet drunks, who ARE the biggest destroyer of families and love and all that is good, are  glorified and tolerated. 

I’ll continue exposing drunks for what they really are as they continue calling "pot heads" deadbeats. No pothead is as dangerous and destructive as a drunk. Drunks are obnoxious, loud, and aggressive individuals who leave lasting scars on their children and loved ones but are too selfish and defensive to see it and admit it. You wanna get inebriated? Go for it! Just stay the fuck off the roads, lock yourselves in a room away from any children, animals, and computers and stay there until you are no longer a threat to society and your families!  I have no problem with that...Have fun :)

DRUNKS AND PERVERTS

There are 2 things I have zero tolerance for. Drunks and perverts. They both hurt others through their selfish crass ways while expecting everyone to endlessly over look their hurtful behavior as if it never happened while having no intention of stopping.

When drunks and perverts are called out on their disgusting shameful behavior they are masters at diverting and gas lighting to relieve themselves of any accountability or blame. They make light of their hurtful behavior with humor and expect others to forget what they did or said until the next time and it’s a never ending merry-go-round from hell that will leave you extremely nauseated.

I grew up with both drunks and perverts so I quickly learned the skill of pretending things didn't REALLY happen to keep "peace" in the house.  I did this for most of my life and that is why it’s now extremely difficult for me to ignore people who hurt or disrespect me and others. I will gladly call drunks and perverts out on their disgusting behavior while having nothing more to do with them because I KNOW they will repeatedly do it without shame. They are masters at this twisted game. Some think I'm over reacting but after years of never reacting to anything I am now the complete opposite. Instead of ignoring and allowing those toxins to build up which eventually exploded in self destructive ways, I acknowledge bullshit and confront it head on. Most drunks and perverts (and their enablers) can’t handle this and that’s okay! 

I’m living a life of peace and serenity that I only dreamed of with my many animals, husband, and kids and I will no longer tolerate drunks and perverts. I have faith in myself and I don’t need others to have faith in me to feel happy or whole and that my friends... is priceless.  Besides, alcohol makes you fat and ugly.

COURAGE IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF FEAR

If more men were consumed with passionate indignation for what was done to them as children the sexual mutilation of boys in America would end tomorrow. I could say the same thing about families of any abuse. There’s always one who finds the courage to stand up and say enough is enough and there’s always cowards who stand on the side of the abuser out of fear and “loyalty” while mocking and ostracizing the victim, therefore the cycle of abuse continues without repercussion. It’s a selfish act to deny abuse and a very courageous one to expose it. Men who are too scared to face their rage regarding their sexual mutilation are the very ones who are keeping the cutting culture alive and well. It’s a protective mechanism of the ego to deny.  It’s thinking more about how much pain it will cause instead of the need to save others from the pain. It’s cowardly and selfish and all too common.  Not everyone can handle it. But those who are courageous enough are the most selfless and loving of all. They risk destroying their own ego for the sake of helping and saving others. We need more heroes and less egotistical cowards to end this injustice against men in America. I guess that’s why heroes are so admired and envied because deep down maybe everyone wishes they had the courage to act in the presence of fear for the good of others.    

AMERICAN CIRCUMCISION DOUBLE STANDARDS

Should we start cutting off breast buds of infant girls? To prevent cancer? Without anesthesia?

Or cutting little girls genitals to prevent STD’s, odors, and infections? Without anesthesia?

It’s really no use to compare Female Genital Mutilation to Male because even if it was just a nick or a snip of the labia (which is much less destructive than male circumcision) with anesthesia in a sterile hospital with skilled surgeons…people would still protest it and call it mutilation and human rights violation. It’s really not about what’s more barbaric, or preventative medicine. It’s about cultural conditioning and sexism. One sex has legal rights to protect them from genital cutting while the other does not. One sex is seen as being born perfect, the other is not. One sex is seen as diseased dirty and a sexual health hazard in need of surgical amputation, the other is seen as cleaner and easily treatable with antibiotics. One is unable to be trusted to clean themselves properly needing parental and medical intervention, the other is perfectly capable and any obsession with someone else cleaning her is seen as sexually inappropriate. 

Americans have no right to condemn female genital mutilation in other countries until it stops mutilating it’s men at birth. 

THE BODY SHAMING OF AMERICAN MEN

The real body shaming isn’t those who speak out against male genital mutilation. It’s those who shame boys genitals as being so diseased and dangerous to society that it must undergo surgical modification-amputation at birth. Little boys are told that it's beneficial to cut on their genitals at birth. But it's illegal to do on sisters. They learn early on that there is something physically wrong with them, they weren't born perfect like girls. They are told to be grateful, it’s for the health of future sex partners, and it looks better. This is body shaming to the max and they grow up believing it! BUT.. girls are born perfect.
A culture that sees this body modification and shaming as a normal and acceptable tradition will call those who speak out against it mean, insensitive, and hateful towards these male victims. Just like cultures that cut little girls. Any speaking out against it will cause them much backlash. Unfortunately, it is a sex organ that we’re talking about. Therefore, the repercussions will effect sex! For BOTH partners! Pro cutters don’t want this information exposed so they try desperately to shut us up by accusing US of shaming! It’s not shaming men to expose what the cutters caused. The cutters shamed his perfectly natural-born beautiful body.

It doesn’t matter if YOU think cut genitals look better! It’s his body his choice. The male penis is not a birth defect and does not require surgical repair! Boys are born just as perfect as girls! Stop the body shaming of little boys. 

SOME DAY HE WILL

Some day he will grow up to defend this with all his might

He will even be proud of it, while mocking and shaming those who were lucky enough to be spared the torture

Some day, women will only prefer sex with his fellow victims calling the lucky ones gross, because it's  normal in their homeland.

What seems normal isn't always natural or good

Question everything 

And never defend your abuse...

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

It’s scientifically proven that children who come from abusive families or have endured trauma will negatively effect them into adulthood. However, everyone reacts differently to abuse. Some grow up to harm others and some harm themselves through addictions, cutting, etc.  So why would the trauma of sexual mutilation at birth be any different? Especially when their sexuality has been permanently altered for life! (See IMPRINTING) They may not remember it but the amputation scar and sexual dysfunctions are something that can’t be “forgotten” or “healed”. Some boys don’t even realize they are different than the norm until they see a whole penis. When they find out the truth many will experience PTSD with this painful secret. Some will choose denial as a coping mechanism like many other victims of childhood abuse. Some refuse denial and confront their abusers causing a rift and separation between family and friends. Our culture has a very hard time accepting that some family members, even mothers, are cruel and dangerous and deserve to be ostracized for sanity and safety reasons. This is the greatest reason many men choose denial because who wants to admit their own mother could do something so heinous? 

Those who remain in denial will suffer less outside confrontation but they are still victims of abuse and will find other ways of dealing with it.  Although denial can be the easy way out it is of no help for future generations. 

I come from a highly dysfunctional family of alcoholics and sexual predators. I broke out of denial and bravely confronted my abusers and it DID cause friction and separation. They refused to accept their wrongdoing, especially my own mother. It’s one thing to make horrible choices and apologize with remorse and accountability, but it’s another to make light of the abuse and refuse accountability. My mother could only say “that was the past, get over it, I did the best I could, only god can judge me, you’re over reacting” The very same words many victims of MGM hear when they confront their mother with their abuse. It’s no accident that mothers are given the greatest control in the hospital regarding their baby boy’s. It’s taboo to confront our loving mothers with our pain, anger, and distraught that THEY caused us! 

I live to give a voice to other victims in the hopes of saving future generations from abuse. But the sad thing is, although I have lifelong emotional wounds, my body is not permanently altered. I can also go to a therapist or friend and get validation for my wounds whereas victims of MGM can not. Our society whether it’s doctors, therapist, family members or friends mock and ridicule these men. It’s the most shameful thing America continues to do to our men and I want no part of it. Silence is being a part of it, just like my siblings who choose to live in denial and continue relations with my toxic parents. I can comprehend it, but I can not tolerate. Speaking truth while exposing the lies is the greatest weapon against abusers and they fear it like the plague. Keep speaking no matter how much they try to silence you and even if your voice shakes. 

THE "AMERICAN" PENIS

As an American woman I didn't even know what a normal penis looked like. I had only been with cut men. Every porn movie or magazine I had seen only showed cut penises. I didn't even know what circumcision really meant when I heard the word only that it's xtra unnecessary dirty skin. Every medical book I saw shows a cut penis as if that's a normal penis. I never ever saw a real penis until I researched male nudity through the internet a couple years ago for a blog I was writing on "Men are beautiful too" I searched for male nude art black and white photography. Little did I know they were all natural penises probably from Europe not American men. I found these penises to be so beautiful and somehow different than any I've ever seen. Now I know why! In a country where they keep normal penises and education hidden so cunningly it's easy to see how ignorance is so common. I'm ashamed of my country not proud. We're not free. And it's time to stop glorifying the female body while degrading the males! Men are beautiful too!!!

REGRET PARENTS OF MALE GENITAL MUTILATION

A true regret parent will validate their son’s pain and admit what they did was evil and unforgivable. A true regret parent will not remain silent but will protest against MGM and educate as many people about male genital mutilation as they can. A true regret parent will be understanding of their sons emotions and never tire of listening to them express themselves. HOWEVER, a true regret parent is NEVER deserving of abuse or bullying. If they are truly remorseful they will do whatever it takes whether it’s paying for tugging devices, going after the cutters, or just being a place to vent. For truly regret parents the only way they can live with themselves is to be outspoken about MGM and they should NEVER be told to remain silent. There are more happily cut men speaking out than there are unhappily cut men which is understandable but at the same time disgusting and cowardly.  Shame and egos are the biggest stumbling blocks to ending MGM and the cutters know it. Parents who refuse to admit their crime are only thinking of themselves and their reputation. It’s very narcissistic for a parent to not acknowledge they have fucked up beyond repair just as it is for a man to defend his mutilation to protect his own ego at the expense of babies everywhere. 

Those who are brave enough to speak about such a taboo subject in our indoctrinated cutting society are golden and should never be berated, hated, or scorned. To do so only feeds the criminals and the crime. People who say we should calm down, relax, and channel our energies into more positive things should be locked in a room to watch a circumcision video with the volume turned up until they feel otherwise. Slavery never ended by quenching normal human emotions triggered by human injustice and torture and neither will the sexual mutilation of men.  This is war and war knows no mercy. 

A REGRET MOM

I wish the World Wide Web was at my fingertips when my son was born and I knew now what I didn't know then. My husband and I were tricked conned and lied to. These bastards who hold the knife get off without a word while parents are left with guilt, anger, self loathing, and threats.

It's easy now to educate oneself in the age of information and to wake up from the deep indoctrination and lies that those who we thought are looking after our best interest are really the ones trying to destroy us. I'm a regret mom and I have every fucking right to be pissed off. I will never trust the medical industry again and although my son says he's fine and has no issues or hard feelings I will never forgive myself for allowing that bastard of a man to permanently scar my beautiful son for life.

If I were to hide in silence and shame, as many people tell me to do, I would be an enabler which I will not do. I will NOT suffer in silence. Regret parents have just as much right to speak out and are often more courageous to speak up about it than men because most men would rather die silently than admit their penises are broken.

Silence feeds the mutilators. It's time to get louder.

WHY RIC (ROUTINE INFANT CIRCUMCISION/MGM (MALE GENITAL MUTILATION) IS WORSE THAN RAPE

Why RIC/MGM is worse than rape

• 
  
• Abuse is always worse when done to children let alone infants
• It's paid for and done at the consent of his parents
• Therapists, doctors and family members offer no support or validation to the victims only condemnation, ridicule and one-upmanship
• Victims are told to be grateful for it 
• Rape is seen as bad in society but RIC/MGM is seen as healthy, good and necessary
• In order to prove RIC/MGM is bad to a blind society it involves shaming the victim to expose the negative sexual effects of their unnecessary amputation from the best part of their penis.
• It oftentimes creates chaos and hatred among family members, loved ones, and the opposite sex
• Victims are forced to keep their emotions bottled up to prevent further pain and embarrassment
• It's legal but girls are protected
• The victim's natural body is seen as a diseased dirty threat to the health of society
• They don't remember their rape but they have lifelong scars to remind them of it
• It causes brain damage from the first days of life
• I know there's many more...feel free to add to the list

A VOICE FOR THE UNHAPPILY CIRCUMCISED MAN

When parents, physicians, and therapists belittle a man expressing his anger, shock, and confusion regarding his RIC (Routine infant circumcision) imagine what that does to him? Not all men suffer from or even care that their penises were cut at birth. But many men do and in a society that is full of genital cutters and supporters these men feel isolated and abnormal, simply for wishing they had the whole body they were born with. Instead it was stolen from them, maybe thrown away in the garbage or maybe sold to medical research companies. This is criminal! yet our culture is so heavily indoctrinated from either religion or the medical community that they don’t even flinch an eye at it.

What kind of person does it take to ignore the screams and struggles of a helpless infant as they cut away at his little penis. What kind of parent does it take to listen to their teenage or adult son voice his rage, or despair about what was amputated from him and feel no remorse only defensiveness and anger? What kind of therapist can listen to a man complain that he can’t have sexual relations with a women, because of his RIC and tell him he’s got a mental disorder? What kind of physician does it take to mock a man who wants to invest in foreskin restoration? And what kind of effect will these human reactions have on the victim and his view of the world? It’s worse than rape on so many levels because it involves amputation of a sexual organ and society offers no legal medical or emotional support for the victims.

Maybe this is why I have such contempt for men who brag about their circumcised penises. I’ve never said a circumcised man is less of a human being, not deserving love or respect. That’s what people here however when presented with the effects of this sex crime. I understand it’s a fine line and maybe i’ve crossed that fine line and for that I am sorry if I’ve offended circumcised men or made them feel bad about themselves. That’s not my mission. I admit I do tend to be radically extreme but this crime is radically extreme and after reading hundreds of stories from men who are suffering 24/7 both mentally and physically I can’t help but be anything else. These men deserve a voice. I’m not doing this for the happily circumcised man but for the men who are mocked, ridiculed, and ignored by their parents, the medical industry that did this to them, therapists,friends and family. I know what it’s like to be abused and ostracized for exposing the abuse/abuser. Though mine can’t even compare to having my genitals mutilated and being told to shut up about it and move on.