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Tuesday, November 14, 2017

HONOR THY MOTHER AND FATHER



I think society's obsession with "honor thy mother and father" is just as harmful to humanity as the "forgive and forget" psycho-babble. I think it’s the cause for so much unnecessary guilt, self hate, mental and physical illness. It also gives a green light for abuse to flourish.


People have no problem speaking out against abusive perverts but when it’s a parent, a mother especially, then it’s taboo. Even therapists fall for this harmful obsession. It wasn’t until I was given permission by a therapist to SAY that my parents were monsters, and I wanted NOTHING to do with them, that I began to heal. Christianity kept me stuck. I was rushed into the forgiveness mode. I was told I must honor and love my parents. So I said it until I thought I felt it but really I was faking it because deep down, once I accepted the truth and confronted my parents with it, I was livid. I was scared, hurt, angry, sad, and the last thing I wanted to feel was love and forgiveness. 



My writings were dark and hateful, all matching up with the Bible of course. The angry jealous possessive god of war who was going to come down and destroy all of my enemies. He would bring recompense and justice. So I stuffed down my hatred, anger and pain knowing in time wrath would come. If my other human emotions came up I was told it was of the Devil and not of god. No wonder so many christians are riddled with guilt and self hate!


Since I’ve left the tribal bible cult, I have learned to take off the mask and acknowledge ALL of my emotions. Not just the "good ones", but sadness, anger, wonder, despair, fear, and hatred. I don’t think it’s wrong to hate certain people for the things they do. It’s called being human. It’s when we act on that hate and get enjoyment out of hurting others that it’s a problem. 



Studies have shown that people who deny themselves their true feelings, tend to act out in forms of rape, murder, or self harm. Could it be that they’re afraid of breaking the commandment Thy Shall Honor Thy Parent? Even those parents who sexually abused them? Beat them? Tried to kill them? Humiliated them? Instead of being able to express their anger or hatred towards their own mother/father they had to release it onto others. (society is obsessed with the idea of all moms being loving and tender. In all of the memoirs I've read most of the time it was the mother who was the molester/abuser) 


Ever see the Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho? I don’t believe people are born evil like I used to in my christian cult days. I think our childhood from the second we’re born determines who we become. Some people have lived through hell as children and grow up to be empathetic loving people. Others become Narcopaths. I could be wrong but I believe those who don't allow themselves to feel ALL human emotions, are the ones who turn into psychopaths and serial killers. And I believe the cultural brainwashing tactic of honor thy mother and father is the main reason for their denial and fear of feeling. 



Children with loving parents will love their parents. They don’t need a commandment demanding them to. And no abusive monster deserves honor or love unless they stop abusing. Even if that abuser is a mother. It’s time we stop making victims feel guilty for exposing and shunning an abusive parent and do away with the bible standards of living and this antihuman bullshit psychobabble.




Thursday, August 3, 2017

FLYING MONKEYS



"Learning to live with the heartbreak of family betrayal  is a difficult and time-consuming process, especially after enduring what might seem like or has truly been a lifetime of suffering at the hands of Domestic Abusers.

Doing so requires mindfulness, a hell of a backbone, and ultimately a positive attitude of gratitude.

But it’s hard to feel happy about being abused — and it’s even harder to feel good about watching people you’ve known forever literally turn their backs on you when and if you out an Abuser.

Suggest something as outlandish as having all the family members come together to stop enabling a Cluster Bfamily member, or to watch while you sit back feeling powerless to defend yourself from smear campaigns started by an angry, socially toxic con artist who is actively preying on you or your family member(s) and LOOK OUT.

Chances are you will immediately become persona non-grata at ever family function, smear campaigned against in the most brutal of ways, and the stories you hear told about yourself won’t even sound familiar to you.

Such people are commonly known in self-help social circles as Flying Monkeys. When and if they band together to support or socially back a stronger predator, the Narcissistic Abuse tactic they are using is referred to as mobbing — a pitchfork in hand, led by a fork-tongued abuser style mob ready to do or say anything they can to ensure that whoever is targeted for exile.

Their primary goal and pleasure in life is to control other people’s psychology, emotions, and personal lives. Preferred scapegoat targets and anyone who purposefully or inadvertently become whistleblowers are socially shamed to the point of no return with regard to being functionally allowed to be allowed to live life with dignity.

The number one goal of Abusers and their Flying Monkeys (a.k.a. ENABLERS) is to ensure all Narcissistic Supply sources remain under their constant psychological control. If a target is financially, spiritually, and emotionally crushed, the hope in every abusive social predator’s basket of deplorable dreams is to have their targeted Narcissistic Abuse victims return to the fold, begging for love, affection from the predators, and the entire clan’s social re-acceptance and mercy.

It’s a heartbreaking and life changing experience for most, either being abused by narcissistic people or watching those to whom they have always supported and done nothing but love and trust align with people who situationally abuse.

But honestly, it’s the name of the game. ALL — and we do mean ALL Cluster B people manufacture triangulations, pathologically lie to alleviate boredom, and will do or say whatever it takes to self-promote while destroying another person’s life, mental health, and spiritual state.

Narcissistic Abuse is always about one person having power and control over another person’s psychology and emotions. Nothing good ever comes of it, either for the abused or in the cosmic sense for the Abuser.

People who betray friends and family members in order to elevate their own social status in and among toxic peers or toxic family members are guilty of a double moral crime — overlooking and subsequently enabling abuse.

Mobbing — meaning ganging up to talk trash, menace, and humiliate a target while banding together and taking pride from feelings of social inclusion — is truly one of the least attractive sides of human psychological compulsion to witness. Especially when you are the Frankenstein monster of sorts being hunted by toxic family members or targeted.

Flying Monkeys take several forms when and if they elect to jump on the bandwagon in order to make themselves feel like part of the “in crowd”. In their manner of vertical (rather than horizontal) thinking, in order for them to feel successful, there has to be a winner — but more importantly, they must create then totally socially, personally, and most oftentimes professionally annihilate anyone they deem a LOSER.

Some conformist adult children willingly align themselves with social predators in order to themselves escape abuse.

Others do so because they feel with another sibling or person out of the way, the charming Abuser will bestow on them something akin to “Golden Child” status.

Hoping to be treated like they are worthy, such people tend to emulate the abuser… ruthlessly striving to prove how BAD their sibling or a rival is for doing nothing more wrong than being born or breathing.

Most conformist children secretly hate or deeply mistrust Abusers but will suck up compulsively in order to do things like jockeying for more favorable positioning with elderly people. Seriously —CONFORMIST ADULT CHILDREN who have been raised by or around toxic peers are quite simply NEVER good people.

Many are readily willing to admit behind the back of the Matriarch or Patriarch of the family unit they seek to impress that they are hoping that when that person or couple dies, they (the Abuse Enabler) will have ingratiated themselves enough to sidewinder bypass an abuse victim in order to financially steal the inheritance.

It’s all about feeling like THEY are more powerful, somehow smarter for being Machiavellian, and to prove to those they hurt that they — as the former lackey, are somehow entitled to wear their abusive parent’s imaginary crown.

Whatever the case, family members who elect to overlook and enable abuse do something far eviler than the two karma inducing things enabling and overlooking abusers do.

When Enablers choose to socially and publicly align with situational abusers who lie about the moral crimes they commit in secret, they themselves actually BECOME ABUSERS.

How do you know when they have been socially lured to embrace the dark side of the personality force?

When and if they:

engage in the act of mobbingor play both sides of the fence,spyingand lying to both sideswhile rubberneckingand fostering more social mayhem.

By compounding pre-existing things like sibling rivalries, parent-child estrangement, or fully artificially devised, sabotaging triangulations, you know both who they are by nature as well as the type of people they choose to be based on their own desire of personality qualities to nurture.

That’s right — Flying Monkeys who support abusive, dishonest, lying, sadistic, or covertly manipulative personality types, simply by their choice to stand on the side of a predator over rationally and empathically validating a victim and seeking to stop enabling social predators, become something called ABUSERS BY PROXY.

And yes, that’s a moral crime — something that is akin to being the “get-away driver” for a bank robber. Make no mistake about it.

There truly is no other interpretation. It’s dangerous to minimize, overlook, or to try to sweep bad behavior under the rug when and if you are confronted with having to deal with social predators.

Moral crimes are those social injustices that no one can quite seem to hold another person socially or legally accountable for, in general. Deplorable behavior is deplorable whether a person can be or is ever arrested for it or not.

Moral crimes are things like promoting or enabling hate speech, telling lies to avoid personal responsibility, misleading friends and family members about private action as well as falsifying public image, and doing things like simply behaving in public one way while acting totally different in private whenever.

In close-knit families with many siblings, toxic parents strategically triangulate children and grandchildren.

Triangulation is meant to foster sibling rivalry, and most toxic senior citizens who have raised children to socially and emotionally compete for their approval, attention, and affection (as well as protection) themselves typically report having been parented in a Narcopathstyle by their own elders.

What’s more, toxic senior citizens who have raised families that divide tend to report that they grew up estranged from their own siblings emotionally, physically, or psychologically. That’s not by accident, either.

The more toxic a parent — especially a mother figure or female role model — the more likely siblings are to have been socially nurtured to think like conformists, competing with targeted or scapegoat family members for the proverbial one-upmanship status Cain and Abel already tried.

Narcissistic mother figures tend to thrive socially and emotionally by pitting their children and grandchildren against one another. The more a child strives to win favor with the parent, the more likely the other siblings are to feel less loved, less appreciated, less valuable, and ultimately LESS LIKED.

Having parents who like you — rather than simply barking out hollow terms that they love you — is a huge deal. People who grow up to have close personal relationships with their parents as friends tend to have the most stable families and personally fulfilling home lives.

But people who grow up with role models that declare stupid colloquialisms like “Because I’m your mother and I said so, that’s why!” in anything other than a truly joking, loving tone are likely to feel the sting of their parents toxic thought patterns and accepted belief systems. This phenomenon tends to produce in an adult child a socially and psychologically perceptible sting.

Nasty parents will smear campaign against an offspring the very same way a toxic adult child will do all they can to socially and emotionally target and invalidate a sibling with whom they have always felt less kinship and more rivalry. If the Golden Child of the family does something to displease a parent, watch how fast narcissistic and anti-social family members will slide right into position themselves as the new preferred favorite while hoping to keep the parent functionally estranged from a sibling!

Why would they do such a thing? Beyond the obvious SELF STROKING OF THEIR OWN EGOS, the biggest suck-ups in the family are typically those status oriented, socially and emotionally competitive family members who are above all else greedy and obsessed withWINNING.

That’s where betrayal comes into play, as people with Covert Narcissistic tendencies who harbor secret ill will against a family member or close personal friend tend to start sucking up copiously.

The pattern includes former spouses of adult children sucking up to former in-laws in an attempt to socially promote themselves while they rubberneck and meddle in their former love interest’s life, people who see senior citizens as weak-minded and easily able to be manipulated psychologically and emotionally into leaving themselves or their own children money in wills, and those who just plain don’t like an abuse target personally (but have always kept that fact a secret in order to avoid that person finding out they were two-faced, self-centered, and ethically duplicitous).

Parents who abuse their children often raise at least one in four of their children to be abusive. They persistently tend to enable that person, while showering them with compliments and absolutely unwavering social protection.

Parents who have several children raise runners, lost children, rebels, and golden children. The Abuser in the family (as the adult offspring most likely to conform to the abusive parents Cluster B thinking) does not necessarily take on the role of Golden Child, however, in the family structure.

That title tends to be afforded to the most self-interested and self-centered of all the siblings. Golden Children tend to strive to please and impress their toxic parents by sucking up, speaking one way to their face and another completely behind their back.

Understand that this is the personality type most likely to manufacture chaos, to betray their sibling’s confidences, and to ruthlessly do whatever it takes to make sure their material and social status is secured.

Sometimes that person is the adult child of a toxic parent, notably a conformist or Golden Child by both nature and nurture.

But it could be the sibling of a toxic parent, an ex-husband or an ex-wife, a grandchild who takes after theCluster B grandparent by genetic nature, or a person who has hung around and weaseled their way into the family network with the sole intent of spying, sabotaging interpersonal relationships, and compulsively seeking “validation” as a person who matters to the targeted family for years.

Noting that Abusers lie, blame shift, victim shame, and do or say anything they can to make people like them while they strive to socially destroy the reputation of a targeted Narcissistic Abuse victim, weak predators who suck up to Cluster B personality types tend to have a rude awakening in later years.

As senior citizens, people with full-blown personality disorders or extreme entitlement issues tend to get old without ever socially or emotionally maturing. What that means is, once the nicest people in the family have been “run off”, that the care of the elderly falls into the laps of those the least inclined to give up their own lives, lifestyles, money, or time to do it.

This places the toxic senior in a more vulnerable position than many of them who realize the reality of what they have done typically care to admit. If they were Somatic Narcissists when they were younger, age and failing health issues tend to dysregulate them psychologically and emotionally speaking quite a bit.

Most children who are targeted for abuse by a toxic family self-identify with preferred scapegoat status. Parents encouraging siblings with more aggressivepersonality types to pick on and abuse emotionally sensitive, thoughtful, and reflective children tend to end up stuck living with their nastiest offspring or shuttled off to places like assisted living facilities or nursing homes rather than being cared for lovingly and compassionately by their “overly sensitive” adult child types.

Children of toxic parents have tough life choices to make when it comes to deciding how to handle parenting strife. If adult children are toxic themselves, many relish at the opportunity to abuse their senior citizen age parent in private at every opportunity.

Why?

Because Cluster B people are simply all alike. Being able to abuse a parent who abused or neglected THEM as children is their ultimate joy, “victory dance”, and pride in life.

But if that parent gets savvy and wise to their toxic adult children’s (or toxic adult grandchildren’s) mind game, chances are incredibly high that their own narcissistic streak will let them go out on an emotional high note.

All of them — whether 30 or 80 — will tend to revert to playing childish psychological games to drive their caregivers crazy. Most, when and if they can gain access to a lawyer or accountant, will do things like move money around in secret and do things like write people in and out of wills in secret — so when they finally DO kick-off, they have the last laugh burning people who traded valuable years of their life and countless dollars trying to ensure their comfort.

That’s the most common horror story reported by children of all ages whose parents had Cluster Bpersonality disorder issues.

So many of them write the people who care for them the most out of their wills in secret or wipe people’s names off life insurance beneficiary lists with a vendetta agenda or out of pure ill-intentioned spite that is like meeting a unicorn when and if a loving adult child says they were well taken care of or provided for by a nasty parent when they die.

Take for example the Celebrity Narcissist news story about Aaron and Tori Spelling. When Aaron died, he was worth a fortune. But do you think he left his fortune to his daughter Tori?

No.

Aaron Spelling left his mansion, the bulk of his wealth, and complete control of his estate and holdings to his Somatic Narcissist wife Candy. Not to the mother of his children, mind you. To an evil Narcissist he trusted to do the right thing as the executor of his last will and testament, a woman expected to fairly distribute his personal property and holdings.

But guess what.

Mama Candy decided that her beloved husband’s daughter deserved virtually nothing. Candy kept the mansion. Candy kept the art. Candy kept the house. Candy kept the furnishings. Candy kept the stocks and bonds and financial assets. Candy, Candy, Candy, Candy, Candy…

And Tori? The daughter Aaron treated and raised like a Golden Child, doted on, and paid more attention to in life that he did the wicked wife?

Guess what she inherited after spending a lifetime following her father’s orders, striving her best to please and impress him? Bupkis.

Yes, you did read that right.

Unbeknownst to Tory, when her father married Candy, Candy — a Somatic Narcissist as his lawful wife — stood to inherit EVERYTHING. Trusting her to behave ethically was Mr. Spelling’s biggest mistake. Either that, or he was one of the meanest and most toxic rich parent snakes alive.

Tory ended up net gaining roughly 800K plus a carload of items from her father after spending her entire life thinking that both she and her own children would be financially protected, safe, and provided for in life. To some, that might sound like a windfall of cash — until you realize that Tori’s father left over 600 MILLION DOLLARS in estate holdings, micromanaged and kept for her own personal use by his greedy, rapacious, and narcissistic spouse.

Now, some toxic thinkers raised to read greed into our above statements are likely to say a parent owes a child nothing when and if they die.

But we’re not talking about parents who never lead children or adult children down the primrose path of believing if they allow parents to dominate their time, ruin their marriages, destroy their own relationships with their own kids while striving to please their unpleasable parent, and spend literally decades being verbally and personally abused by a parent who dangles things like “family honor” and sentimental possession inheritances in front of children in order to manipulate and savagely control their adult children’s lives.

We’re talking about nasty people who hold things like personal property from ancestors and family photos hostage.

We’re talking about parents who themselves pulled Candy Spelling maneuvers with trust funds left for grandchildren with the sole aim of easing their OWN financial and physical burdens in life.

We’re talking about parents who are so toxic that never one during the course of their natural born life did they do a single nice thing for a child without that child being pledged into indentured servitude for life. And we’re also talking about parents who — for WHATEVER they say is or was their reason — never one put their own child or adult child’s current or future-based needs above their own sense of material comfort or social pleasure in life.

To be told daily that if you just follow a parent’s orders, take their personal life advice, and fall into line makes you a part of the family is hard enough… but toxic parents who use money and sentimental property possessions as a weapon or tool to manipulate their adult children into kissing their ass for 80 plus years based on the promise that the time they trade doing so (as lost fiscally productive years) will be “made up for” when and if inheritance time comes near can truly leave an elderly parent’s primary social and emotional caregiver and companion unprepared.

That means no matter how much a disenfranchised offspring who is and has been nothing historically but a sensitive, emotional, loving, kind person striving to help their own parent of nuclear family of birth improve and elevate their conscious connection is accused of being “greedy” or “selfish” for feeling hurt when and if they are financially or socially shunned, the accusation is based on an illogical presumption that the same things motivate an Empath or HSP [Highly Sensitive Personality type] as does a person whose brain bio-mechanically operates in such a way that they socially, emotionally, and psychologically typify that of a person who is by nature or nurture a Cluster B.

You see, the primary motivator is LOVE seeking validation and ultimate harmony for most HSP individuals. Living life from a high EQ as well as IQ perspective tends to produce mature thinkers, noting that someone who is chronologically age 12 is likely to be twice as mature as a 50-year-old person who has a personality disorder like NPD, HSP, BPD, or a truly anti-social ASPD personality.

Be mindful that toxic parents raise messed up children at best. That includes scapegoats, children who rebel as black sheep of the family, those who enable while basking in Golden Child status with glory, and abusive conformists who take after their rotten mother or toxic father figures, too.

As such, the recommendation is to depersonalize abuse, disengage from a social relationship with any person who sucks up to a known Abuser, and take a life skills tip from those who are primarily self-centered, shallow, and egocentric.

Protect your OWN interests physically and financially. Stop sending all your retirement money and savings to help buy gifts for a mother who gives back little (if anything) and appreciates NOTHING. Stop taking crap from your angry and verbally abusive dad who was never there for you as a child but now demands you enable your toxic mom to abuse your fiscally, socially, emotionally, and financially.

Walk away from that nasty grandparent who did nothing but try to get you to disrespect your own loving parent while they compete with their own child for YOUR affection as their target possession acquisition.

The money you stand to inherit will never replace thetrust and (honestly) unconditional love of a kind-hearted parent.

It also won’t undue karma you create for yourself when and if you choose to accept the 30 pieces of silver a toxic abuser offers you to become their pet Flying Monkey — using and abusing YOU by pretending to genuinely care for YOUR long term best interests when all they really want to do is make sure your betrayal of a parent makes YOU an Abuser By Proxy, breaking the heart of your loving mom or devoted father.

And by all means if your sister or brother treated you terribly as a child, don’t waste one moment of your time worrying about making nice with them in order to please an enabling parent.

Let mom or pop take over the role of trying to deal with them — something they failed to do when you were kids, leaving them free to situationally abuse while parents did their own thing like sit at cocktail parties, avoid family responsibilities by claiming they “had to work”, spent countless hours avoiding true parenting responsibilities by engaging in busy work, or they played golf at the country club with absolutely zero care, concern, or remorse!

If a sibling showed signs from a young age of developing a Cluster B personality disorder in their childhood years, chances are that without serious behavior management and family-supported proper socialization of a child that they grew up to have “bona fide” personality disorders.

Early predictors include children likely to developNarcissistic Personality Disorder showing signs of having had Oppositional Defiant Disorder during their middle school and teenage years and kids likely to develop Anti-Social Personality Disorder having exhibited all the traits of little people who had Childhood Conduct Disorder.

Parents who have Cluster B are easy to spot. They glorify themselves, act with raging entitlement issues, tend to be the first people to point out why everyone they come into contact with owes them respect and should treat them like royalty, and they will be quick to point out everything in the world wrong with everyone but themselves — especially taking great delight in socially or emotionally shaming and publicly humiliating you.

Identifying a Cluster B sibling requires honest forensic psychology work. If you do an inventory of memory, chances are that your sibling’s personality by the time they were age 6 was fully formed, whatever it was at that stage of the game is exactly where they are most likely to revert to by core nature when and if stress in them forms.

Both parents and their toxic adult children tend to revert to raw, more primal “id” states of explosive rage-a-holics and become more (rather than less) sinister and self-centered as they age.

Time is never the friend of a Narcissist, and it damn sure never favors a Sociopath, Histrionic personality type, or person who shows symptoms of having Borderline Personality Disorder, either.

If you are expecting a Cluster B parent or a sibling to mature as they age, to realize the error of their ways, and to make your own brutal life history up to you in the end, you might want to consider buying that bridge in Brooklyn rumored to be for sale by toxic parents for YEARS.

Bridge the gap intellectually between what the reality of personality profile traits for Cluster B people and the Cognitive Dissonance inspired dream that you have that your parents and family members love and want what is best for you in order to save yourself from having the proverbial rug pulled out from under you.

Learning how to detach from the dream of having a family that loves and supports you is the hardest part.

But once you realize that the nicer you are to Cluster Bpredators you are, the more likely they are to loathe, abuse, and ridicule you they will be, the faster you will be able to celebrate your first birthday — 12 months after going NO CONTACT with any person who enables, enacts, excuses, or willfully chooses to self-promote while deliberately and consciously overlooking Narcissistic Abuse issues.

The faster you come to realize that when and if a toxic family unit comes bonding together to show solidarity in targeting one or more family members for Narcissistic Abuse, they accomplish one very real thing only in their attempts to socially undermine, psychologically destroy, and completely emotionally invalidate you. They pledge allegiance to the continuation of toxic family dysfunction.

What that means is, whatever time and money you lose is well spent to have such low-rent, vile-natured, morally insane people out of your life. Learning to live with family betrayal is something that takes time, patience, daily reflection, and above all else a strong self-help themed forensic psychology education.

With any luck the blood money and personal self-aggrandizement they engage in, treading on the backs of fallen, more emotionally sensitive and morally righteous family members who end up spending countless hours in agony, ruminating over the pain caused to them by people who by blood allegiance should have felt morally compelled to both love and protect them… with any luck, the Karma bus won’t be gentle when and if it’s driver comes back around for them.

And no — to hope that a person who harms you is held personally accountable for their actions is not wrathful. It’s trusting the universe to handle its business, noting that nice guys finish last for a PURPOSE.

For some, that purpose is to have enough time on the proverbial life pond to heal. For others, it is likely to land them in the loving arms of their creator after death, knowing they lived a good life striving to be a good person rather than acting like a grab-me-gotcha personality who relentlessly strove to one-up others by cheating, lying, and backstabbing with zeal.

But be hesitant to spend too much time wishing, thinking, or hoping a person or peer group that abused or actively strives to invalidate your fundamental human rights as a person “gets theirs”. After all, the more time you spend judging their motivations, intents, and misdeeds, the less time you have to spend purposefully designing the next stage of your own emotionally freed and well-balanced life.

When and if extreme feelings of emotional toxicity, moral outrage, and sourceless anxiety arise, go back to the basics. Read a self-help article written by an expert on dealing with Cluster B personality types. Check out a new research article about how to successfully cope with or self-manage C-PTSD issues. Do some yoga, go for a walk, scream into a pillow, or cry it out in a bathtub filled with sparkling, clean, healing waters and 2 big cup fulls of magnesium replenishing Epsom salts.

“Feel the feels…” as Spartan Life Coach Richard Grannon might say… or laugh their ridiculously hurtful, patently obvious attention-seeking and grandiose behaviors off as the wise young YouTube guru from someplace like Self Care Haven advises. Then, think things through.

If you are living in the present, the past helped create you. If you live in the now, look around wherever you are right now, at this very moment. Unless someone is making a Jack Nicholson face, wielding an ax, and busting through a door to try to physically murder you, chances are you can list 10 things you are happy about, feel positive about, or are absolutely grateful for having today.

And that’s how you do it. That’s how you survive.

Let the emotional angst caused by Narcissistic Abuse wash through rather than sticking to you. Live life 200 feet ahead of you at a time, just as the author of the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” creator Jack Canfield advises people to do.

And no matter what, remember this one thing…

NEVER RUN BACK TO THE PEOPLE THAT HURT YOU WHEN AND IF YOU SEEK EMOTIONAL VALIDATION.

The only validation you need is recognizing what is and what is NOT Narcissistic Abuse. After recognizing that, do a forensic analysis of yourself as it related to having been affected by your life experiences.

You are who you decide to be — and whichever wolf you choose to feed in your own inner psychology is the core personality most likely to become the dominant one, fast.


Be grateful for the very real fact you yourself are unlikely to be sucked into making things like other people’s personal life dramas worse by engaging in acts of mobbing. Count your lucky stars if you understand why inheritance is about validating love and care for the person inheriting, eschewing things like greed and blood money.

Then, be perfectly happy to strike the first match when and if it’s truly the right time in life to burn bridges with people you in no, way, shape or form would ever be physically or emotionally safe being around.

Those kinds of people — no matter WHO they are or THINK they are — have absolutely no reason or right to rent space in your head, let alone to someday stage a hovering coup-style attempt to return." Credit:


Tuesday, March 28, 2017

FORGIVENESS... STOP SHOVING IT DOWN EVERYONE'S THROAT!




Written by “throwaway2001million”

“Forgiveness is unethical. Shut the fuck up and stop shoving it down everyone's throats Forgiveness is unethical and I'm sick and tired of seeing it pushed around by everyone as some holy untouchable panacea that would cure world hunger, cure cancer, bring Friends back, stop all wars and end all world ills. It's not; what it demands that people do is fucking horrible, everyone just accepts it as the right thing to do with no thought put toward it what-so-ever, and if you have the nerve to disagree with anyone about it you can be sure you will be ganged up on and yelled at.

The argument goes like this: there is lots of hatred and violence and war in the world. This is because people hold resentment against each other for past wrongs. People also hold resentment against other individuals for past wrongs. People who do this are wrong, because we are supposed to love everybody; because it's wrong to feel hate, resentment or anger toward anybody; and because it causes and perpetuates conflict. The only way to peace is for people who have these resentments to abandon their grievances, because doing so will end these conflicts. They must accept that we do not always get justice in this world, so what else are you going to do but forgive?

There's so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start. Wait, I do -- this whole philosophy is based on the idea that the victim bears all the responsibility for a conflict and not whoever hurt them. I feel like it should be self-evident why this is wrong but so many people believe in this crap that I guess I'll have to break it down: victims are not responsible for conflicts, the assholes doing horrible shit to them are. See, we in the real world believe in this thing called "personal responsibility" which holds people responsible for their actions and the effects of those actions on innocent people. That means when you do something wrong to someone else, it is not their fault for being mad or hurt, it is your fault for doing that to them in the first place. Therefore the onus is on the person responsible, and the culture at large, to hold them accountable for their actions. That is what resolves conflicts and that is the very basis that almost every culture around the world is based on. It's why we even have legal systems in the first place. The reason that there is so much violence in the world is because of greedy douchebag countries that do horrible shit and are never held accountable for their actions.

Secondly the argument presumes that hatred, anger and other negative emotions are bad things. No they're freaking not. They're emotional responses partly biological in nature that are hard-wired into us to ensure our survival. That's like saying sexual arousal is bad. Like happiness, love and any other emotion they are part of our humanity and to demand that we give them up in the name of peace is essentially to ask us to give up our humanity. It's not even bad to hate or be angry at bad people who hurt us. They're not causes of great suffering, they are symptoms of great suffering and instead of getting at the root causes of what's triggering those responses we instead choose to treat the emotions themselves as problems and try to excise them, and that's just ineffective and wrong.

Nor is conflict an inherently bad thing, nor is getting rid of conflict the one way to a better world. Not everyone is on our side, we won't get along with everybody, there will be clashes and differences of opinion because we are so individual and varied. Conflict is bound to happen and isn't something to necessarily be shied away from. It's not a good thing to try to love everybody either, for those reasons and because you shouldn't have to like everybody, you shouldn't try to force yourself to be around other human beings who make your life miserable. You have the right to decide who you keep around and who you keep away, that's a crucial part of what autonomy is all about. You cannot stand up for yourself or have boundaries if you forgive because when you do so, you are acting on a grievance of some sort, which you can't do if you forgive because forgiveness is is dropping a grievance.

One of the most heinous things forgiveness does is put the burden of responsibility for a conflict, and the psychological effects of evil acts on a victim. Victims who refuse to forgive will be bullied; they'll be accused of being angry, vindictive, resentful, cruel, and often they will end up being the ones looking bad while whoever hurt them will look better. You can look for almost any post arguing against forgiveness on Reddit and see how they get downvoted, no matter how egregrious the action against the victim was or how clearly justified that victim's grievance is. It shouldn't be hard to see how an evil person could exploit that to smear everyone they harm and basically be able to get away with the things they do scot-free. Why bother being a decent person when you can accuse everyone you hurt of being unforgiving and then be able to act with impunity?

People who argue for forgiveness have an inherent cruelty and selfishness that shows in their arguments. Have you ever heard anyone argue that a victim is only hurting themselves by being angry or resentful? That someone else did something terrible and nothing will be done about it (implying that they themselves will not help the victim pursue justice and won't do anything to the accused), so their only option is to forgive? That's something a bully or, dare I say it, someone who did something evil to you would say to you if you called them out on their actions. That's just rubbing it in their faces. People who believe in forgiveness who do that are no better than the assholes who did something horrible to whoever they're arguing with in the first place.

It's not even the truth -- this is my own experience talking but there are plenty of other people who go through this shit, especially sexual assault victims: the only thing that often stops people from being able to pursue justice is being bullied into silence by fuckwits who demand that they just let it go. Forgiveness is inherently antithetical to justice, because the whole point of it is to just let shit go instead of making sure whoever hurt you has to deal with the law, or their employer/school, or whomever. It inherently protects the accused from accountability.

It's also intellectually and morally lazy. We do not simply stop the pursuit of justice because it appears difficult or impossible to get. We do not simply drop grievances or allow bad people to be around us if they get away with the horrible shit they do. The idea that a victim is responsible for an accuser's actions and their effects is only there because victims are easier targets than the accused; people who argue for forgiveness think that by going after the easier and weaker target that they can end a conflict faster. It should be obvious how horrible that is. We are supposed to be better than that. The idea that a victim should just conform to horrible circumstances like that is just not acceptable. At least it shouldn't be.

Forgiveness does so much harm to people at large, not even in terms of justice but in quality of life. Abuse victims will often keep very toxic people in their lives, subjecting themselves and those they love to continuing abuse and misery, because of this bullshit. And I think perhaps more importantly forgiving stops people from being able to truly move on from these sorts of things because of the fact that it keeps people in these situations and doesn't allow them the ability to simply tell these horrible people to go fuck themselves and leave. People who argue for forgiveness will say that forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Maybe not forgiving is something we ought to try to do for ourselves given how prevalent domestic violence is across the world.

We need to give universally accepted memes like forgiveness real rational thought, because people are dumb as hell.”



Saturday, March 25, 2017

FORGIVENESS IS BULLSHIT



“Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to forgive and forget in order to move on with your life.

Forgiving and forgetting is actually kind of unrealistic. I’m expected to forget every bad thing that anyone has ever done to me? How would I ever learn any lessons on who to trust and what decisions are right and wrong? I wouldn’t. Life is about learning from people and from mistakes, not about forgetting and repeating the same ones constantly.

If I am asked about someone who is no longer in my life because of the bad things they have done to me then I have no problem telling the truth about my feelings- they were toxic, I dislike them and I don’t have a place for people like that in my heart or my life.

Some people may say that seems bitter or that I am still holding onto a grudge. So what if I am? That is my choice.


Holding a dislike for some people also doesn’t mean that I still dwell on what they’ve done to hurt me, it just means that their chances have ran out and I will not lie about my feelings for them. This goes for everyone, if I am asked about someone who I do really like then I will have no problem going on about how wonderful they are. I give my opinions whole heartedly every time, negative or positive. I’ve always been a very honest person, almost to a fault, so I will not sit and say that things are good with someone when they are not, just so it appears I don’t hold grudges. I’m not one for fake conversations or pretending to like someone who has mistreated me just to appear “nice.” Everyone is entitled to their own opinions about everything, including people, and should not be judged for them no matter what they are.


It is not about holding a deep grudge-it is about being authentic and strong enough to stand up for myself against people who don’t have a place in my life anymore.

It gives me more piece of mind knowing that these people will no longer be around me than it would to give them my bullshit forgiveness.









Some of the phrases most likely to make me instantly hulk out are “you need to forgive”, “let it go”, and “move on.” All of those piss me off, but “forgive” is the absolute worst. “Forgiveness” seems like such a nice, happy concept, so you’re probably wondering why I have such a deep and passionate loathing for that stupid fucking word. Let’s start with thedictionary.com definition so we can then throw it out the window:

forgive — vb , -gives , -giving , -gave , -given 1. to cease to blame or hold resentment against (someone or something) 2. to grant pardon for (a mistake, wrongdoing, etc) 3. ( tr ) to free or pardon (someone) from penalty 4. ( tr ) to free from the obligation of (a debt, payment, etc)

Ceasing to blame or hold resentment against someone sure sounds like a nice idea. So does granting a pardon, or forgiving a debt. The problem is that when people say “you need to forgive” they don’t mean “I want you to be happy and being super pissed off about _ is not making you happy.” What they always seem to mean is “I’m uncomfortable with your anger. How about you shove it down until you choke on it?” Shockingly enough, I don’t respond terribly well to being told that I don’t even get to have my own goddamn feelings about all the terrible shit that’s happened to me, or that my completely justified rage is less important than some random fuckface’s comfort.

People also seem to have this idea that once you’ve “forgiven” someone, whatever happened magically becomes okay and everyone acts like it never happened. Fuck that noise. Nothing is ever going to make what happened to me “okay.” No empty fucking platitude is going to give me a happy childhood or a mother who loved me (why yes, there is a post coming about kink and childhood abuse), and I’m not going to pretend otherwise for anyone else’s convenience.

To make things right, much more than one-sided “forgiveness” (read, swallowing my emotions so that no one else has to think about what happened) is necessary. Real forgiveness is earned with honest acknowledgement of wrongdoing and sincere, ongoing, and above all successful efforts to make amends. If you promise something will never happen again and it does, guess what? You don’t fucking deserve to be forgiven. Not that people have to be perfect to make amends, but they have to fucking try. Without any efforts from the people who hurt me to make things right, it is literally impossible for me to “forgive.”

In all the time I’ve spent thinking about forgiveness or letting go or moving on, I’ve read precisely one article that has anything remotely useful to say about forgiveness. To paraphrase fairly heavily, that article says there are three steps to take before you can forgive:

1. Acknowledge the harm done.

2. Feel your feelings about it.

3. Talk about it.

The standard “forgiveness” bullshit allows me to do precisely zero of those things. Instead, it tells me that I should just stop being angry, as if I can flip my emotions on and off like a fucking light switch, that I don’t have the right to feel inconvenient feelings about it, and that I shouldn’t talk about it. Funny how all those things do much more good for my abuser than they do for me.

I’ve tried not acknowledging the harm that’s been done to me, and it’s fucking exhausting to pretend things are okay when they are most certainly not. I’ve tried not feeling my feelings too. Trying to swallow my anger just made it worse, to get anywhere I had to decide I had the right to be angry and that I was damned well going to keep being angry until I was good and done. I still hate talking about it, but keeping it a secret is just one more way to pretend it never happened.

Fuck forgiveness, fuck the idea that I don’t have the right to be angry, and especially fuck the idea that other people’s convenience is more important than my well being.

If you want to actually help someone who had been hurt to move on, strike the word “forgive” from your vocabulary. Instead, say “What happened to you was terrible”, “You have a right to be angry”, “Do you want to talk about it?”, and “Is there anything I can do to help?”

If you can’t manage that, then at the very least be honest about what you really mean if you feel the need to spout some bullshit about how they need to let go. Admit that you don’t give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about their happiness and that all you want is for them to shut up about how they were hurt so you can go back to pretending nothing is wrong. And then admit that you’re a worthless sack of shit.”







Below is written by SometimesMagical and Diane Roshelle


“According to Dictionary.com, forgiveness is:

to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
to grant pardon to (a person).
to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one’s enemies.
to cancel an indebtedness or liability of: to forgive the interest owed on a loan.

The definition and connotation of forgiveness is all about the other person—the person who wronged you—and setting them free, absolving them, letting them off the hook, ceasing to feel anger (or bitterness or whatever the new demonized emotion is) towards that person.

I’m here to cry bullshit on the whole charade.

Forgiveness isn’t necessary for healing.

Forgiveness is not necessary to “move on.”

It’s not even necessary in order to feel compassion or love for someone.

It’s not necessarily healthy.

In fact, more often than not, in the instances when forgiveness is prescribed (severe betrayal, severe hurt/abuse, severe tragedy, severe trauma), it’s actually harmful to the person needing to heal. There’s a reason why anger is listed as one of the main steps in grief—it’s important! Getting angry, feeling sad, holding someone else accountable, they’re all part of “moving on.”

What does a statement like “you just need to forgive” do? It heaps more guilt on the person who is experiencing those emotions—those necessary emotions—by making them feel like they’re wrong or unhealthy or weak for experiencing them. In other words, it’s blaming the victim, encouraging them to ignore their own needs and cater to another person’s desires.

It denies the mind’s natural way of healing itself.

You don’t get past the anger by suppressing it. You don’t move through grief by denying it. The only way to get through those difficult aspects of healing is by claiming the right to feel them.

And the only reason why forgiveness sounds so “positive” to us is because we have this fucking stigma about the shadow emotions being “negative” (which I discussed briefly here). We as a society don’t know how to handle those intense emotions, so we distance ourselves from them. And when someone else is experiencing them, we prescribe “forgiveness” as the fix-all that allows us to sound helpful without actually doing anything to help. If we move past the idea that shadow emotions are negative, suddenly the need to forgive by letting go of those emotions is non-existent, along with the need to distance ourselves from those emotions.

Does forgiveness ever have a place?

Maybe.

I’m an open-minded person and willing to consider that forgiveness really does have a legitimate purpose somewhere buried underneath all the bullshit–that it can potentially be a healthy  byproduct of healing in some circumstances. But I’d be more than willing to bet that, in those instances, the forgiveness happens fairly naturally.

In the instances where the hurt is bigger and the problems larger, i.e. whenever forgiveness takes up focus, it should be up to the individual to decide if that is something they need or even want.  It should be up to the individual to decide if the relationship is worth the work of restoration or if it’s safe to continue with that relationship. Moreover, it shouldn’t ever be the goal. Healing should be the goal, whether or not it includes forgiveness.

And without a genuine apology for the pain and damage caused and change to avoid repeating it, I don’t think forgiveness is either possible or healthy. Healing comes in those instances by learning to set boundaries, take a stand for your own needs, and hold the other person culpable for their actions, not by giving a blank check to someone who repeatedly hurts you.

I think it’s high time we forgive ourselves this absurd expectation that we should always forgive. It’s time to allow ourselves to recognize that healing isn’t about forgiving the other person; it’s about listening to ourselves..”

Written by SometimesMagical and Diane Roshelle



“I started talking about my childhood sexual abuse when I was in my early twenties. I only told a few people that it was my father who abused me, but there was a common response: “Have you forgiven him?” I was from in a religious environment where forgiveness was mandatory. I was afraid not to forgive.

The abuse kept me living in fear— I was afraid of many, many things, but at the top of the list was the fear of abandonment. If I didn’t forgive, I would be disapproved of and rejected by my Christian friends, and more importantly, by God. Unless I wanted to spend eternity cast from God’s presence, I had to forgive. Unforgiveness was, after all, far worse than anything that was done to me. To refuse to forgive made me worse than my abuser. Or so I was taught.

I also thought forgiveness was synonymous with, “Pretend like it never happened.” In my definition of forgiveness, my dad didn’t have to suffer any consequences, I was supposed to stop talking about the abuse or if I talked about it, I couldn’t mention my dad. That would be “uncovering” him. Forgiveness also meant that I shouldn’t feel any negative emotions toward my dad and that our relationship would carry on as it had.

Even without the religious pressure, I wasn’t interested in breaking off my relationship with my father. I didn’t consider it as a possibility. I was just as afraid of being abandoned by him as I was by everyone else.

Through the guise of forgiveness, I stuffed my feelings and stuck a nice big smile on my face. I was supposed to put the past behind me when I forgave, so I denied my feelings. Forgiveness was supposed to be the path to healing, so I acted healed. I buried my anger somewhere deep, somewhere I hoped I would never find it.

The anger didn’t disappear. It was buried, but it was buried alive. It scratched and clawed and cried out. Its voice demanded attention, so I gave it expression through abusive acts toward myself. I continued my own abuse through all kinds of destructive behavior including dangerous sexual activity, over-working and abusive relationships.

Eventually, I wasn’t only hurting myself, but others. I thought the anger would shield me from the type of things I suffered as a kid. It was the illusion of being in control and more powerful. When I vented my anger, I felt bigger than I was. I secretly smiled inside when I recognized that people were intimidated by me. If I inspired fear, maybe they wouldn’t see how afraid I was. But it didn’t protect me. I kept getting hurt in the same way again and again.

I wasn’t happy. Anger was a mask I wore, but it wasn’t the real me. I wanted to feel real and let myself be the gentle, nurturing person I knew I really was.

To finally get rid of the anger that was pushing me, I had to take it out and deal with it. I had to face its source and look at all the pain associated with it. I had to recognize that the true target of my anger was my parents, not me. By then, I realized I was just as angry with my mother for protecting my dad, maybe even more so.

Also by then, my parents escalated in their abusive treatment. I refused to continue the sick patterns and, after setting boundaries they refused to honor, we parted company.

I had a new definition of forgiveness which didn’t include reconciliation, but in my heart, forgiveness represented a threat. Someone suggested that I forgive my parents and I reacted as though that person was locking me in a cage with a hairy beast with long claws, razor teeth and glowing, yellow eyes. In my mind, forgiveness would disarm me and leave me vulnerable to more abuse. I couldn’t be pressured into forgiveness or anything else related to a type of performance or measuring up. My forgiveness facade was blown and I didn’t care. I had to continue to sort out my feelings instead of covering them up.

I continued to write and talk about my anger, fear and pain. One day, after months and months of processing, I woke up and actually wanted to forgive my mom and dad. I was shocked. The day before, I hadn’t felt anywhere near being able to forgive. Suddenly, I was prepared to drop of the baggage of offense. I no longer wanted the responsibility of trying to control what they deserved.

Once I made that decision, I felt lighter, freer. I wouldn’t have believed how much of a difference it made.

Forgiveness didn’t mean the end of my pain. Actually, once I forgave them, I felt the most intense pain of my journey so far. Forgiveness opened my heart to remembering the good things about them and viewing them in a more balanced way. In my anger and hatred, I only saw them as evil people without any redeeming qualities. Since nobody is all good or all bad, that was one of the lies I used to try to protect myself. Once I admitted to myself that my parents actually do have good qualities, I started missing them and the pain of abandonment and rejection engulfed me. This is a journey of finding the truth, so even though the truth brought pain, I welcomed it since it also brings healing.

I’ve worked through that pain now. I don’t feel tied to the abuse like I used to. I always had the knowledge that I was stronger than the abuse, but the forgiveness process left me actually feeling stronger than it.

I still don’t have a relationship with my parents and I don’t ever intend to. Even over the relational and physical distance, they continue their abuse. Occasionally, more things from the past come to light and I’m challenged to sort out my feelings in that regard. My forgiveness has been a layered process. I don’t consider my parents much at all anymore, either with pain or longing. In many ways, they are a distant memory and are becoming more so over time as I continue to face my past. I’ll never forget what they did or failed to do, but there isn’t pain attached to the memories that I’ve worked through.

I don’t have gushy feelings toward them, but I also don’t have the desire for revenge. I divorced myself from the need to control their fate or determine what they deserve. That’s what I think forgiveness really is.

I don’t think those people who tried to sell me forgiveness were trying to hurt me. I’m sure they were only trying to help and were speaking from their own fears. They may not have intended harm, but it was harmful. Forgiveness is a personal issue and one of the most sensitive in dealing with abuse. Forgiving my parents was one product of my healing, not the means to it.” Christina Enevoldsen







“Less than 24 hours after reading the stories promoting incest that my father Hank had spent the last three years writing and posting to the internet, I got stuck on the rock of forgiveness.

I’d swallowed the pop culture definition, in which my future happiness and security depended upon extending forgiveness to the man who’d molested me as a kid. Hank the Blank, the same man who then, thirty years later, attracted thousands of fans with stories in which young boys were always eager participants in acts that made my skin crawl to read.

If I wanted to be a wise, sober, evolved person, I must forgive. If I wanted liberation from suffering. If I wanted to be a good man.

I went there immediately. I went there first. And it felt fucking horrible.
Then I read Judith Herman’s Trauma and Recovery, and I came to this passage:

Some survivors attempt to bypass their outrage altogether through a fantasy of forgiveness. This fantasy, like its polar opposite (revenge), is an attempt at empowerment. The survivor imagines that she can transcend her rage and erase the impact of the trauma through a willed, defiant act of love. But it is not possible to exorcise the trauma, through either hatred or love. Like revenge, the fantasy of forgiveness often becomes a cruel torture, because it remains out of reach for most ordinary human beings. True forgiveness cannot be granted until the perpetrator has sought and earned it through confession, repentance, and restitution.

It was only when I read that passage that I felt something like liberation. That I got unstuck. For 31 years I’d tried to be a good boy. I’d crammed 98 percent of my feelings into the farthest darkest corners of myself.
I honestly couldn’t answer Ground Control when he’d ask me what I felt about something. Here I was, the “sensitive” kid, the “sweet” man, and I had no fucking clue what I felt.

“I know depressed,” I told him.

“That’s not a feeling,” he said.

Shit, I thought. I had 31 years of feelings to vent. 31 fucking years. I better start now.

I once remarked to the Manly Fireplug that I had a lifelong attraction to bad boys. Friends or lovers, it didn’t matter. I liked the boys who could tell the world to fuck off.

“That’s cause you’re a bad boy,” he said. It was one of those ah-ha moments. But that was a few years ago, and I stayed stuck on the rock.

After I found Hank’s stories and lost my mind, after I bought a knife for self-protection and positioned myself so that nobody, nowhere, was behind me, so that I could watch everyone and suss out their motives, after I tore Hank the Blank a new one over the phone, after I came home from work every night drenched in my own sweat, after all of that, I gave myself permission to be angry, petty, sullen, and stubborn. I dropped reasonable, diplomatic, and forgiving. I wouldn’t torture myself in the pursuit of “fairness.”
I told myself that if I fucking wanted to say fuck on Dogpoet, I’d fucking do it.

Sometimes a well-meaning person tells me I need to forgive. That it’s the key to my happiness. And sometimes it feels like a cobweb on my face that I just brush off. And sometimes it feels like control, like Hank the Blank himself is imposing his will, trying to bend me to his own fucked-up purpose, and I can’t get away from that person fast enough.

Look, I get it. We don’t want to see people we like suffering. We want to imagine that there could be a tidy resolution to pain, and we gently push our loved ones in that direction.

But there’s nothing tidy about child abuse. There will never be a day in my life that I won’t be affected by it. It’s fucking family. It’s primal. It’s everything. It cuts deeper than anything else, working its way into our marrow. We don’t “walk away” from it. We can’t.

I tried the tidy resolutions and the peremptory forgiveness. I tried whiskey, and meth, and Manhunt, and Playstation, and shoes, and gardening. I got snatches of songs stuck in my head every waking moment for over a year because I couldn’t handle hearing my own thoughts. That way doesn’t work. That way ends with the razor and the gun and the rope.

Look, Hank the Blank isn’t contrite. He doesn’t get it. “It was only an hour of your life,” he told me. Four months ago he made me a promise that he’d seek therapy. I knew it was empty, and I was proven right. Hank the Blank doesn’t deserve forgiveness.

That doesn’t mean that I’ll lug his crap around forever. Four months later I feel less burdened, not more so, because I cut ties with him and decided not to forgive. I’ll feel what I need to feel, once I figure out what a feeling is. I’ll save my love for the people who deserve it.”