https://www.antipornography.org/ex_porn_stars_expose_truth.html
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Sharing my experience as a virgin who hired an escort (twice) to experience intimacy but in doing so, made me realize how fucked my brain was from porn and more importantly, how I had developed a severe case of Porn Induced ED
“This is an essay and a half but the TLDR is basically the title.
I just want to say I have no shame in what I've done. You can laugh or ridicule me and I do admit that seeing an escort is quite pathetic and yes, I know it's all an act and it's all fake but what's done is done and this whole porn consumption thing is an astronomical issue that at least I certainly did not realize the severity of. I always thought I was the exception, "nah getting ED? Can't be me. These people have genetic deficiencies or something." No, it CAN and WILL be you unless you take it as seriously as you take something like cancer. These are my authentic and unfiltered thoughts. I don't visit this sub often so some of what I say may already be popular talking points in this community.
Quitting porn was the best thing I ever did for my sex life.”
Quick background info of me before I had visited the escorts: Virgin 23 year old who's never even had a first kiss before. Not even a first hug actually. Never been in a relationship in my life. I've been going to the gym for over a year consistently, have a clean diet, and try to get at least 7hrs of sleep every night so I can say at least physically, I am a healthy early twenties male.
Mentally, on the other hand... I've been a hardcore consumer of not just porn but also hentai, doujins, porn memes, NSFW subs, rule34, you name it, I've probably indulged in it. I've had periods of time when working from home, I would read hentai doujins RECREATIONALLY for the dopamine hit and mentally edge myself until I couldn't read any further without wanking (because at the time, I thought as long as no physical masturbation, I'll be fine), at which point, I would temporarily stop. Later on did I realize this was probably even worse than just consuming pornographic content and rubbing one out. My brain had become so desensitized to anything sexual - and I mean ANYTHING sexual as I have seen some depraved and vile shit - that seeing female nudity to me now is like seeing an apple. Or a tree. Or a car. No longer holds any novelty to my brain.
Last December, I was really depressed and really desired companionship and intimacy of some sort. I did a ton of research to try and understand the industry of sex workers and how it worked. I didn't want to hire some bimbo street hooker with Botox lips and plastic tits and get some kind of STD. I sought out an escort in her 30s, she had a great reputation, was very beautiful, and seemed really down-to-earth, and took protection seriously. I even went to see her in the morning as testosterone is higher in the mid-morning hours and I tend to be hornier. I went to her place, we had a great conversational rapport, had a couple drinks, and she took me to her bedroom with scented candles and soft music playing the background. She straddled me and we made out. I was fully expecting to be rock hard because I was sexually aroused to the nines but my boner was like 40% at most. Eventually, she went down on me and my dick just completely died. Which was so weird because the physical feeling was unlike anything I've ever experienced but I just. Couldn't. Get it up. She suggested we switch it up and I went down on her for a bit. Still couldn't get it up. The more I panicked and thought "wait, there's no way I have ED right?", the more limp my dick got. We never even got to penetration. She was very understanding but I was utterly emasculated. I never had imagined that keeping fit, going to the gym, eating clean, and I would still end up with ED.
I went home and fell into depression for a couple weeks. Afterwards, I decided to go see another escort. My delusional mind convinced me that my limp dick last time was because I drank too much alcohol and had whiskey dick, or that I put pressure on myself to perform and experienced performance anxiety. I sought out another escort just a couple days ago and this time, I booked over a month in advance. I did the longest NoFap I've ever done for that period of time before I saw her - no sexual content in any form, not even talking about it, not even sexual memes/jokes on Discord, Twitter, etc. Avoided all of it like the plague.
This escort was even more amazing than the first. I opened up right away with her when we were chatting that I was a complete virgin, 0 experience, not even a kiss (that was a lie since I had gotten it from the previous escort). This way, I made it clear that there were no expectations. I told her that I wanted to take it slow and for her to "show me the ropes". She did just that. We messed around like monkeys on the bed, cuddling and kissing, and she would check back in with how I was feeling every so often. I was rock hard. But as soon as she started taking her clothes off, my dick starts shrinking back to normal. It was so fucking bizarre to me because you would think that your cock would get even harder at the sight of her naked right? No, it just fucking fell asleep. It's like my brain is saying: "oh tits, pussy, ass? Old news. Boring." This woman had the most phenomenal dancer's physique I had ever seen and I STILL couldn't stay hard. This time, we actually got to penetration because I managed a semi-erection through mental manipulation of telling myself: "okay, I am a male homo sapien. She's an attractive female homo sapien that I want to mate with". It sounds absurd but I basically brought my brain to the most primal level and tapped into my lizard brain and that's what got me slightly hard. As soon as I let go of those thoughts, instant soft dick. And in case anyone is wondering, yeah, penetration is just as fucking amazing as you think it is. And I was only half erect. I can only imagine how good it would be if my brain wasn't so fucked and my dick got rock hard like it's supposed to be. Those with fleshlights (yes, I've even abused fleshlights. I am a well-rounded degenerate), the feeling is very similar, it's just that an actual vagina is warmer, tighter, slimier, and most importantly, attached to an actual woman whose body is in contact with your body.
ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION SURVEY ED on the rise!
The rest of the details are unnecessary but throughout all of this, it made me realize truly how utterly fucked my brain is from consuming so much sexual content. The mental damage it has inflicted on me is deeply, deeply ingrained in the roots of my psychology. I did a pure NoFap for one whole month, literally 0 sexual content, not even looking at Instagram models's asses or any other "soft porn". And I still have severe erectile dysfunction. And I know it's not a physical issue. I can get an absolute raging hard on with porn or hentai or whatever else shit I was consuming previously. I will say that the 1 month NoFap did have noticeable benefits: more consistent morning wood, more energy and drive, more willingness to interact with strangers etc.
I legit have PTSD from these 2 encounters even though both ladies were so kind and understanding and reassured me that ED is very common amongst first timers. It's all just excuses. Like most guys, I've always fantasized about having a girlfriend. Now I realize I'm not even PHYSICALLY ready for any of that. I don't know how I will tackle this issue exactly. I'll definitely stay on NoFap/NoPorn and keep grinding the gym at the bare minimum. I think our generation will soon be revealed to have mass ED problems with how prevalent sexual content is nowadays and more importantly, now NORMALIZED it is. I'm not saying sex should be taboo and restricted, I'm just saying the content that we consume nowadays is not normal and it hyperstimulates your brain with unnatural levels of dopamine. It literally REWIRES your brain just like meth would.”
https://www.reddit.com/r/
There is nothing good at the root of pornography. The actors are sexually physically emotionally and spiritually degraded and abused. The greedy producers are making money at the expense of this suffering and humiliation. It robs the spirit of good intention and love and truth and intimacy. It’s not self love, It separates our bodies from our spirit. Why do so many feel guilt and shame after doing it? Self love should make us feel good about and at peace with ourselves. But porn does not, Because it conflicts with our inner soul which is truth and love and vulnerablity. Love is the greatest force of life and porn is a lie and a thief of it all. It feeds on LIES and deceptions from the production to the actors to the ones viewing it. It never satiates, it demands more. It doesn’t fulfil or inspire or enlighten. It consumes and drains and steals our energy masculinity/femininity our peace and soulfulness. People who defend it are defending human trafficking sexual exploitation and degradation towards women in order for their own ill gotten gains. Which is why they lie about it to those they love. It’s rooted in shame for all involved.
PORN IS DESTROYING YOUR MASCULINITY
The desire for sex is by far the most lucrative, sought after and abused desire of all.
The internet is a double-edged sword.
On one hand, it has revolutionized our world, allowing man to communicate, gain knowledge, save time, and entertain himself in ways our grandparents could only imagine in their wildest fantasies.
On the other, it has become a conduit for some of the most primal desires and emotions we have as humans.
Technology has also led many-especially the millennial generation to become absolutely dependent on it to fulfill these emotions.
Of all the desires that the internet fuels, the desire for sex is by far the most lucrative, sought after and abused desire of all.
Pornography is the king of the internet. The porn industry leads in revenue (with yearly revenues out-grossing global corporations), marketing (pioneering, setting the pace and writing the rules of digital marketing), and product innovation (any sexual desire that a human being can have, the porn industry can and will fulfill).
One of the most unfortunate byproducts of internet pornography is its debilitating effects on men. I spent 13 years of my young adult life addicted to pornography. While I didn’t watch it every day, I estimate that I spent over 20 hours a week on it.
These days, as an addiction recovery professional, I spend triple that amount of time each week working with men who are hooked on porn. Some are as young as sixteen, while others are in their sixties and still unable to get off pornography.
Make no assumptions — this is not a small sub section of men. There are literally thousands of men who struggle with quitting porn once it takes over their lives. While they are from different generations, all of them agree on one thing: a habit of consuming pornography online, once developed, it almost impossible to quit.
In my practice, I’ve noticed that the young men aged 16 to 35 who were full-blown porn addicts (spending more than 12 hours a week on pornography) had NO concept of what masculinity was.
When probed for an answer, their role as men in society was non-existent. At best, their main measure of manhood was how many women they could hook up with or the most attractive woman they could get into bed.
They had a rough idea of what masculinity entailed, but pornography and the habits associated with it had essentially erased the basic foundation of manhood for them. More alarmingly, porn was actually changing their brains and bodies for the worse.
Our fathers never had to deal with high-speed internet and the easy access to porn. Today, most children are exposed to pornography by the age of 8 and many of them are hooked on it by the time they are 12 years old.
I’m going to break down a few of the ways in which pornography erodes your masculinity.
PORN LEADS TO SELF-GRATIFICATION
Delayed gratification is an essential skill to learn if one is to maintain control and direction in their life. Repeatedly giving in to the urge to watch pornography leads to a lack of ability to delay gratification. Your brain becomes more and more focused on the things you find pleasurable and the discipline of delayed gratification falls to the wayside.
It is no coincidence that men who are hooked on porn are usually underachieving in other areas of their lives.
Solution: Developing delayed gratification is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. There is a certain sense of superiority and confidence that comes with the realization that you have more control over your primal desires than the average man. Mastery of any worthwhile skill or habit leads to increased confidence. The ability to delay gratification is no different.
PORN ERODES YOUR VALUES
Video is powerful. We live in a world where we need to see something to believe it, and in our fast-paced, information-driven world, video is the preferred means of communication and information dissemination.
The thing is, video has the power to influence and even replace behaviors in your mind without you being consciously aware of what you are seeing.
As you watch video, your subconscious mind is rapidly dissecting, translating and making sense of what it is being fed. I have found that the subconscious mind translates and subsequently changes your behavior in one disturbing way: Pornography programs you to lower your standards sexually. It encourages your to seek sex and in some cases, build intimate and unhealthy relationships with women who are willing to have sex without ANY boundaries. As exciting as that sounds, having sex with any woman who is available is a sign of man without without much discipline.
A man at some point in his life, must have control over his sexuality. You should not be a slave to your sexual desire—instead you should master and control it. In addition to that, hundreds of hours of porn creates certain expectations of what sex looks like.
I’ll keep it simple: putting your penis in a woman’s mouth right after it has exited her anus is not healthy in the real world. The average 16-year-old watching pornography is literally getting his sex education from the videos he watches.
Solution: You are what you eat. Eat processed, sugary, or junk food and you’ll feel bad physically and eventually look like crap. Make a decision today to feed your mind only with material which makes you a better man. Here’s the barometer for that: If you feel guilt or shame for watching certain material, consider that indigestion for your mind. Stop it.
PORN CAUSES ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
Virility is important for almost every man I know. The rise in porn-induced erectile dysfunction is something to be alarmed about. Frequent porn use leads to frequent masturbation and erections, which can increasingly only be induced by hardcore pornography. Porn-viewing then becomes a sort of psychological conditioning which creates performance anxiety.
Solution: Need I say more? No man wants to kill their boner. If you love your penis and your erections, avoid frequent masturbation and watching porn. One of the simplest and most effective exercises for your penile strength and health are Kegels. There are plenty of resources online that train on how to perform these exercises.
PORNOGRAPHY LEADS TO SHAME AND ISOLATION
Anything which you do in secrecy usually leads to shame. One of the first effects of frequent porn use on men, especially young men, is social awkwardness in public, which ironically leads to more shame. Isolation and shame make it very difficult for you as a man to share true intimacy with others, whether it’s with other men as your brothers and friends, or women as partners and lovers.
Solution: Many men are already afflicted by shame, which is induced mainly by our society and religion. If you find that your pornography use has dulled your desire to be social, I know how difficult it can be to jump start your social life.
Thankfully, the internet can help. Social sites like Meetup.com and dating sites are a great way for the former “porn-hermit” to begin meeting people again. The long-term goal would be transitioning to building healthy relationships and bonds with other men.
PORN DESTROYS YOUR ABILITY TO ACHIEVE GOALS
In my practice, I have never met a man who was hooked on porn that was good at goal-setting. As I stated earlier, most men who abuse pornography usually struggle in their finances, relationships and careers. It’s no coincidence.
The aforementioned “self gratification” is a habit which cannot coexist with achieving worthy goals. Men don’t “schedule” pornography viewing the way they schedule time to work on their business or complete projects. It usually “I’m going to watch porn from now until my body shuts down sexually.” Part of this is biological.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter (a chemical released by nerve cells to transmit signals to other nerve cells). It’s a key player in the part of our brain responsible for reward motivated behavior. Sex, eating tasty food, getting approval all trigger the release of dopamine.
The more often you watch porn and masturbate, the more often your brain is flooded with dopamine. You slowly become desensitized to its effects and need more stimulation to “feel the rush” or “get a fix.”
This means that your reward circuitry is broken. This reward circuitry is crucial in achievements that are truly worthy in a mans life such as contributing in a meaningful way to society, developing a highly sought after or marketable skill, building a family, building a business, competing in sports or in your career.
Solution: The simplest solution to this is to become a master of the “to-do” list and rewarding yourself. Every night, before bed, write out a list of everything you need to accomplish the next day in order of importance. The next day, proceed to knock everything out on the list. Whatever is left over goes on the list for the next day.
The key is rewarding yourself for accomplishing tasks on your lists. Of course, the reward can’t be porn, but it should be something you enjoy doing leisurely: browsing self-improvement sites could be one, or watching entertaining videos on YouTube. Use the activities that usually get in the way of your goals as rewards.
PORN THROWS OFF YOUR TESTOSTERONE LEVELS
Testosterone is absolutely essential to your health, sexual functioning and general well-being.
Here’s the important thing to remember: regular sex stimulates the release of testosterone while masturbation does not. You feel happier, energized, and content with life after regular sex. On the other hand, masturbation combined with porn torpedoes your testosterone levels leaving you drained, unmotivated, and filled with the negative emotions of shame and guilt.
Solution: It is my belief that if more men truly knew how essential testosterone was to them, they would quit masturbation and pornography for good. I hope the following benefits of testosterone will motivate you.
Testosterone gives you: increased energy levels, increased self-esteem and self-control, strength and physical stamina, healthy metabolism, increases bone density and strength by aiding in the production of red blood cells in the bone marrow, and the formation of blood. Testosterone is also essential to prostate health, liver function, memory and concentration.
If you’ve been struggling with a bad pornography habit and trying to quit to no avail, it may be time to take an honest look at your relationship with pornography.
There are many more ways that pornography erodes your masculinity, leaving you weak, confused and unsure about your direction in life. It is my mission to educate, guide and, if necessary, help you as a man to repair any damage that pornography has inflicted on you.
https://www.orderofman.com/porn-destroying-masculinity/
“Men generally don’t like to admit they watch pornography even though all men do it. Why are they ashamed to admit it?
Reddit is full of men crying the blues asking for advice because their gf dumped them over their porn addiction. First of all if they have to ask for advice on what to do their mind is already made up. Porn is more important to them than their gf. They would miss the porn more than they would miss their gf. Sexual satisfaction is a man’s number one priority in life. They can live without a relationship but they can not live without porn. Guys need to own this truth and stop lying about their internet porn addictions. Be proud of it, don’t deny it or lie about it. If it’s so healthy and normal then why lie about it? Just admit what drives you, and consumes all of your waking and sleeping thoughts. Maybe if you’re lucky enough to find a woman who is proud of your porn addicted life, you won’t have to die alone when your time is up. Time tells all.
Gone are the days of men slaying dragons for the princess, now they don’t need to slay the dragon to get laid, they save their energy for internet porn, no need to seek out a real woman to satisfy their itch. It’s always been about that, if porn was invented back in the days of Snow White and Prince Charming the princess would surely get killed by the villain There would be no “loves first kiss”. Being a gentlemen has gone extinct. The sole point of it all was sex. The only thing that drives them.
Now with VR porn and fake pussy toys, men on these forums admit they prefer these over sex with real women. It’s easier, they don’t have to worry about getting her off, performing, or paying for dinner and courting her to get the the point of it all, getting laid. They can sit in the comfort of their own homes and have it all virtually for free. Gone are the days of romance and love, these are the days of digisex. Humanity is a dying breed!! If they do however, desire to seek out a woman, it’s not for sexual satisfaction or intimacy, it’s so they don’t have to die alone, they are searching for a mother, someone to take care of them, keep them company, listen to their bullshit talk, and show the world that they are still desirable to women, instead of the lazy, limp dick, useless fucks that they are, addicted to their digital devices with no desire or ability to satisfy their woman in bed. No thank you..” (Anonymous Quora comment)
Five ways in which porn ruined my life.
I have wanted to put this out for a while, bit simply could not muster up the courage. Afters weeks of pondering and shelving it away today I have decided to put this out for the world to see. This is very personal and I feel sharing it with the online community will further help me in the long road to complete healing. I would happily confess I have come a long way and have eradicated almost 90% of porn’s influence on my life. Let’s get started with the main article.
- Women were no longer humans,just mere objects.
I am a true-blood feminist and respect women, I have believed for most part of my 20 year life that women make our lives better and they are not equal but superior to men. Yet porn managed to rewire my brain and make me a twisted person, which I regret now.What started as a exploration of my sexuality with friends turned my life upside down. I started viewing women as a object of desire whose only purpose is to satisfy me sexually. They were not friends,wives,mothers,sisters and many other important roles women play to make this world a bester place. But objects to gratify my sexual fantasies.Every day I fell deeper and deeper in this lustful trap and in process lost myself.
2. Porn trapped me in my comfort zone.
I became so comfortable in my zone getting dopamine shots for every orgasm or porn viewing session, my brain was just not ready to try new stuff or work on myself. I loved writing and always wanted my own blog to share my life and ideas, but my brain so addicted to it’s dopamine shots and comfort was appaled by the prospect of putting in the work and failing, it was used to the easy life. I was in a weird relationship with the pixels on various device screens. I will be triggered by small failures or roadblocks and dig into my safe haven every day. In short I was just a stagnant river, whose potential was trapped inside a cage on the verge of annihilation.
3.Porn changed how I viewed relationships and sex.
Porn is total bullshit and acting, created to fulfill fantasies forpeople sitting alone in their living rooms. It’s all choreographed and edited over a period of days and months, real life will never be able to match up. Porn ends up creating high expectations and rewired my brain in such a way that I wanted more and new types of stuff every time. My view on relationships and sex became that of a junk food addict on instant noodles. I was in love with the instant sex that never refused me and loyalty,emotional compatibility and many other factors that build relationships took a backseat. In my head relationship was all about physical attributes and nothing else. I went from a gentle human being to this twisted person I did not know, thanks to porn.It took me a while to regain my former original self, as I was tired of playing this game of Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde with myself.
4. Porn affected my personality.
I was irritated, angry and lost my temper for minutest of reasons.I would want myself in my room pleasuring myself with porn, instead of spending time with friends and family or doing activities I loved like reading a book or writing. I was in a constant state of gloominess or depressed, as if all the happiness was sucked out from my soul. I lacked the enthusiasm or energy towards living life, their was absolutely no excitement. I went from a positive,shy and happy kid to frustrated and purposeless. Porn was providing pleasure for a moment and tons of sadness and guilt afterwards, but the brain was addicted to this momentary pleasure that after all the suffering it will start chasing that moment again,caught up in an endless and vicious cycle.
5. Porn left me broken from inside.
Leaving porn and PMO(porn induced masturbation and orgasm) was a big task for me. I have been trapped in this cage of pleasure since past 9 years and it is very difficult to convince your brain to get out. I suffer from withdrawal symptoms just like a drug addict, my brain wanting to feel that rush of dopamine again, from the familiar source. My brain had got used to the regular source of dopamine and it was difficult for it to change. After I quit porn I was left with severe withdrawal symptoms my body wanted the regular dopamine fix and I was left totally broken and shattered, it took me a long time to get hold of myself. Now I have come clean for the good and will never return to those dark alleyways again! some days when I am sad I still feel that urge somewhere in the corners of my mind and it get’s really hard to resist. But I cannot give-up, not now for the sake of my sanity.
I hope my personal experience can be a beacon of light to fellow strugglers, brothers and sisters in the same boat along the choppy waters. I hope my readers can relate to my story, I am not looking for your sympathy just your love and support will embolden me to push the final nail in the coffin on porn. No one is alone, this entire world is like a global community of different individuals who are joined by a medium called the internet.One for all and all for one! The society has been turning a blind eye for decades now, we cannot let porn be normalised in our culture and labelled a harmless part of our lives, that very thought is downright outrageous.
Porn is just a evil which has become so normalised in our society that we simply overlook the flaws staring straight at us. Let’s make that right!
https://medium.com/invisible-illness/five-ways-in-which-porn-ruined-my-life-7de50fe4bfba
How Pornography is Changing Millennial Men (Hint, The Sex Is Worse, Much Worse)
https://thoughtcatalog.com/pierce-nahigyan/2015/11/how-pornography-is-changing-millennial-men/
Does Porn Damage Men? A Look at the Lasting, Unspoken Effects
https://www.glamour.com/story/does-porn-damage-men/amp
How Pornography is Ruining Men’s Sex Lives
https://endsexualexploitation.org/articles/how-pornography-is-ruining-mens-sex-lives/
Watching Too Much Porn Can Ruin Men's Sex Life For Good, Though Women Remain Unaffected
Porn Is Ruining The Sex Lives Of An Entire Generation
https://www.businessinsider.com/porn-ruining-sex-life-2011-10?amp
How I stopped watching porn for one year and why I'm not going back
https://www.opendemocracy.net/en/transformation/how-i-stopped-watching-porn-for-one-year-and-why-im-not-going-back/
https://www.patheos.com/blogs/agora/2013/09/druid-thoughts-pagans-and-pornography/
Studies are showing that boys are losing interest in sex with real women. They can’t sustain erections with real women. In porn there is no making love. It is about making hate. He despises her. He is revolted and disgusted by her. If you bleed out the love you have to fill it with something to make it interesting. They fill it with violence, degradation, cruelty and hate. And that also gets boring. So you have to keep ratcheting it up. Men get off in porn from women being submissive. Who is more submissive than children? The inevitable route of all porn is child porn. And this is why organizations that fight child porn and do not fight adult porn are making a huge mistake.
“Pornography has socialized a generation of men into watching sexual torture,” Dines said. “You are not born with that capacity. You have to be trained into it. Just like you train soldiers to kill. If you are going to carry out violence against a group you have to dehumanize them. It is an old method. Jews become kikes. Blacks become niggers. Women become cunts. And no one turns women into cunts better than porn.”
https://www.truthdig.com/articles/pornography-is-what-the-end-of-the-world-looks-like/?amp
“The word loneliness never seems adequate to describe the torment of starvation for closeness.
We are plagued by it now more than ever. 😟
Isolation is one of the deepest forms of pain that we can experience on this planet. No one is exempt from this.
But the truth is, it doesn’t stop there.
Because the connection is a basic human need, we find other ways to try and “fill the void” of being disconnected from others. This can come in the form of watching a ton of Netflix or binging on junk food or online shopping.
And when we go to bed at night, we realize that we just compounded the amount of pain we are actually in.” Teal Swan
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Tantric masturbation can help ED!
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-benefits-of-abstaining-from-porn-95332ded2e1e
Porn was never a moral or religious issue…I simply gave up porn so I could have sex with my girlfriend again."
