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Tuesday, May 31, 2022

WHAT IS TANTRA

 


https://tantricacademy.com/porn-addiction/

What is Tantra and what is Tantric Sex?

Perhaps you think that Tantric sex is one specific, monotonous style of sex that you have to comply with ‘or you won’t reach illumination’ or something akin to that. That couldn’t be any further from the truth of what Tantra is. In actual fact, Tantra isn’t about sex at all.

Just like addiction goes beyond porn and is rooted in isolation, Tantra goes way beyond sex. Tantra is rooted firmly in connection.

What truly matters is the intention behind what you do. This intention extends to whatever style, or position of sex you want to have with your partner.

Today in the West, Tantra is packaged and sold as just another way to spice up your sex life. In reality, that is only about 5%.

Sometimes it’s presented as something only hippies and ‘earth warriors’ at market stalls do. Perhaps you imagine gazing into your partner’s eyes in adoration for five minutes, drinking kombucha, hugging for what seems forever, and making sweet love in missionary position. Or maybe missionary with a pillow. Wrong!

Is tantra more than sex?

Tantra is an ancient Indian path rooted in a deep philosophy of enjoyment and pleasure. But pleasure is a much wider category than mere sex.

Tantra can include walking, talking, sleeping, waking up, eating, drinking, and everything in between. It asks you to put consciousness into every action and moment. These ancient teachings show you how to be present with awareness.

Most spiritual paths tell you to avoid stuff. Food, relationships, activities, sex. By forbidding, they create an imbalance that is often filled with addictive behaviors. Restriction or lack and addiction are the two sides of the same coin.

Tantra is saying yes to life

Tantra is the complete opposite of that. It’s saying a loud YES to life and everything it has to offer. It teaches how you to take whatever your everyday life throws at you andtransmute it into spiritual energy.

This is the energy that raises you up to a whole new level of consciousness and pleasure. That’s the secret. Taking energy from the good, bad and the ugly, and turning it into something sacred. Something that lifts you up and sends you into ecstasy.

It’s a process of inner alchemy. Tantra is driven by practice, intent, focus, and love. And yes, this applies to sex as well!

Tantric sex, also known as conscious sexuality, doesn’t look like anything specific. It accepts all sexual orientations and genders. It includes each and every position and style. From the most romantic lovemaking with music and candlelight to the roughest sex of your life. It’s all good. Tantra rejects nothing.

https://tantricacademy.com/what-is-tantra/

Saturday, May 21, 2022

LOOK IN THE MIRROR


 

Look in the mirror. What do you see?  Some can’t look in the mirror. Some hate what they see, it really all depends on what’s inside the heart.  If you feel shame guilt hate and sadness the image will be different than if you feel love peace and joy.  The deeper you get within yourself, and the more aware and compassionate you are of your inner dark shadow, instead of ignoring it, the cleaner the mirror.  


I’ve always believed people who trigger us are our greatest teachers in life. I don’t mean those who abuse or try to destroy us, but those who say it like it is, push our limits, challenge us, expose us.  These are the people who push us to look in the mirror and face all those cloudy perceptions that need our attention.  I love these people, yet they are so rare because most are people pleasers and bullshiters saying things they think you want to hear in order to be loved liked and wanted.  I’d rather be around real honest people with integrity who aren’t afraid to rock the boat. I call them peace makers.  Peace makers are much different than peacekeepers. 




Peacekeepers want to keep the “peace” by keeping everything status quo, stagnant with no growth or accountability. They sweep things under the rug, avoid confrontation at all costs, sugar coat everything and live in denial.  Peace makers on the other hand confront us, call us out if we cross  a boundary, approach us with concern when they see self harm, give positive constructive criticism.  These people are often seen as too aggressive but in the end they bring us more inner peace and self respect than ass kissers who live in denial. They keep us looking through a foggy mirror caused by our angry neglected inner dark shadow. Have you been blinded by the light? Not everyone gets to this level, it’s only for the brave of heart. A small tribe of people who you should feel grateful to cross paths with if you’re so lucky.  

Sunday, May 15, 2022

ESCAPISM

 


Anxiety and escapism: a post-traumatic stress disorder 

Escapism is the opposite of mindfulness- that is living in the moment, of living mindfully. It may be that for you, facing reality is simply too terrifying. This is at the root of your anxiety, the fear of “doing the living”, becoming frightened of your own existence. 

Escapism is a way of attempting to make negative feelings dissipate, without working through the necessary steps in order to come to relief through mental resolution. It’s a false economy, a quick fix, a crutch, a placebo. 

Sadly, like all addictions, it will only reinforce your feelings of anxiety further, whilst you seek out new ways to cope. And exactly like all addictions, such coping strategies will begin to unravel, break down and ultimately fail.

In the meantime, whilst you seek an escape route from the pressures of reality, you will find yourself facing increasingly challenging circumstances in terms of your mental health that may manifest in acute sensitivity to pain, anxiety and depression

As a result, you are now addicted to anger, drugs or alcohol, or may be retreating into a fantasy world of gaming, internet browsing, or simply daydreaming your life away. On the other hand, you may become captivated by porn or shopping mania where everything seems more shiny, brighter, sharper or more attractive than your reality. 




Escapism

Awareness

Perhaps you find yourself spending increasing amounts of time interacting on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, than with real people. Constant comparison with others has now reached its peak as a source of misery, disappointment and dissatisfaction with your life. If only you had that outfit, that look, those friends, that body... just below the level of awareness, you are however, aware that you’ve bought into an illusion.

Deep down you know you cope strategically by means of dissociation, numbing out and distraction against extreme terror and fearfulness of our random, unpredictable world. At times you will feel as helpless as a toddler without a hand to hold and guide along the road. 

This childlike state, rather than an adult mindset primed for rational thinking, problem-solving and healthy reflection through introspection, causes you to run away from your “self”. Instead of growing into your full human potential, you find emptiness inside and mistakenly believe that is the self from which you need to hide. 

You often wonder how you will ever feel “grown-up” enough to become resilient enough to deal with painful feelings such as disappointment, jealousy, guilt, shame, hurt, upset, rejection, abandonment, bereavement and other suffering that are all part of the human journey.



Addiction

Drugs and alcohol allow you to hide under cover from your real self, the self you do not accept. Reality ceases to exist in escapism. Human existence is to feel pain and suffering, as well as happiness and joy. 

If you are addicted to anger, you feel relief from the release of your feelings upon another, physical or verbal, providing you with an instant rush of power followed by the let-down or crash of guilt and shame, thus feeding the addictive cycle over and over again. 

It’s the same with gambling. Always chasing the hit, the win, the fantasy. Bodybuilding becomes obsessive as you use steroids, protein powders, or any other such cell-building props. Comfort-eating numbs you out until you are comfortably numb. 

If you are compelled to watch porn or you are paying for sex, you can imagine yourself as powerful and therefore desirable enough to have anyone you want. If you are gaming you create a belief that you possess special powers. In such manner, you are not bound by the rules of reality and can achieve a “fantasy” life experience, instead of putting all the effort you need into riding the storm through life’s lows and highs.


Pre-traumatic stress disorder

Upon reading the above, if you recognise that yourself or a loved one may have retreated into escapism, whether manifesting as a low-level wave of anxiety, a daily discomfort, panic attackspost-traumatic stress disorder, depression, or high-level paranoid anger or personality disorder, working with a therapist will help with avoidance and instead identify the emotional triggers that give life to such escapist behaviour. Discovering the moods, thoughts, feelings and situations that fire off the desire to escape from reality: A “pre-traumatic stress disorder”.

Find a therapist prepared to help you dig deep into the excavations of your mind so you can discover your unique patterns manifesting in feelings of guilt, shame, resentment, helplessness, fatigue, depression and despair that lead to anxiety, that lead to addiction, that ultimately lead to feelings of a breakdown in your sanity. A 12-step programme with its focus on inclusion, responsibility and a shared journey towards filling in what feels like a hole in your soul, is ideal to engage in alongside therapy.

Once you have arrived at enough of a balanced, rational adult problem-solving state, you will be ready to learn to practice “mindfulness”, the art of mindful living, a way of living that, despite having been practised for thousands of years, has become popular as a lifestyle and treatment choice for relieving anxiety and any other challenges in terms of our mental health. Mindfulness helps us tap into our true capacities, feeling free to manage our lives by making healthier choices, living in the here and now, feeling calm in the moment, free from anxiety.

The road to relief is clear. The path to peace a straight line. What causes the crisis within is the question. The journey to self is the answer.





https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/memberarticles/anxiety-and-escapism-a-post-traumatic-stress-disorder