TWISTED ROOTS

 TWISTED ROOT HEADSTAND🌲 

Twisted family Roots

My family roots are pretty twisted.  Those who raised me and my

siblings had twisted family roots of their own which carried down

generation after generation.  In many ways I broke the family cycle of

addiction divorce and sexual abuse.  In order to do that I had to cut

off the bad branches (family members) to allow myself to grow a more

beautiful stronger fuller and healthier life. Trees require pruning to

grow healthier stronger and be more fruitful too! Even though the

roots will nourish to some degree the weaker branches, they will

eventually kill off the tree while smothering out the healthier

branches. Most people live out their entire lives without addressing

toxic issues from twisted family roots and the quality of their lives

are visibly different than those who have confronted it. I am living

proof of that and so are my children. I’m far from perfect and have

many inner child issues I deal with on a daily basis, my kids as well,

BUT we’re much less twisted than the roots of my family tree.

PEACE OF SOBRIETY IS PRICELESS

My first year or two of sobriety I cried A LOT. I rarely ever cried
because I saw my mother cry all the time and I didn’t want to be
anything like her. So I stuffed my feelings down since I started
drinking at age 14. It was uncontrollable crying at times often
leading to laughter. My emotions were all over the place like I had
left off from that 14 year old little girl in a 40 year old’s body.


I ate and craved junk food and allowed myself to eat whatever I wanted
because that was what filled the empty void booze had left. I also
waked 3 miles a day and started a blog I named MIND VOMIT because all
of my thoughts, the good bad and ugly, were typed out on my little
laptop for nobody’s benefit but my own. It was dark and twisty, but so
were all the dirty little secrets I was told by my drunk mother to
keep.


My back broke out that first year. I’ve never been one to have acne
but it was horrible boil-like pimples covering my upper back. I had no
idea at the time but I’’m convinced now 8 years later it was alcohol
toxins leaving my body.


My surroundings seemed more clear and vibrant, I started noticing
things I never did before, I studied religion world cultures and
medicine as if my brain was a sponge. I was never a good student in
school mind you, I started drinking and drugs at age14.


I cut ties with all of my drinking buddies and abusive family members.
I didn’t put myself in positions that would trigger me to drink.
Luckily my husband was never a drinker so I didn’t have to deal with
any of that.


But I did have to deal with my past to get where I am today and that
is the hardest part. Dealing with things we tried to drink away. Not
drinking is the easy part of sobriety. Sitting with feelings is the
real challenge, that where the work is.  So many people fail at
sobriety because they refuse to sit alone with themselves and do it. I
think it’s the key to a sober peaceful life. It was for me anyway and
I encourage it strongly to anyone seriously wanting to be free from
the chains of addiction.