BE FREE

I can’t stay, mother.

I love you, but I wasn’t born to please you

I wasn’t born to make you happy

or give your life meaning.

I wasn’t born to rot under your wings

like an unhatched egg.

I can’t stay, teacher.

I wasn’t born to be put into your boxes

to think along your lines

or to memorize your facts

I was born to think independently.

I can’t stay, my love.

I wasn’t born to satisfy your needs

to take care of you

or to hide in your arms.

I wasn’t born to make myself smaller

or to be taken for granted.

I can’t stay, boss.

I wasn’t born to make money for others

I wasn’t born to follow orders

or to repeat the same day over and over again

I wasn’t born for boredom.

I can’t stay, master.

I wasn’t born to follow your ideas of what truth is

or to live according to your dogmas.

I was born to find my own truth

and make my own rules.

I was born to meet life full on

To get lost on Indian trains

To be seduced by dangerous men

To meet different faces, places and cultures

to be out in the jungle all night

To run with wolves

To be swept off my feet

To be taken by storm

To be heartbroken

Devastated

Stunned

Shocked

Lost

Thrown into the deep

I was born to get my hands dirty

To get sand in my mouth

Mud on my clothes

Thorns under my feet

I was born to jump into the abyss.

I was born to meet aliens

To do rituals

To be cracked open in ceremony

To go beyond time and space

To welcome magic

To totally loose myself

I was born to feel everything

To taste everything

The bitter taste of sorrow

The foul taste of deceit

The sweet taste of love

I was born to learn how to handle change gracefully

I was born to know the truth

to learn how to fly

I was born to learn how to speak the language of love

How to unchain my heart

How to shed everything

How to let go of all expectations.

I was born to learn how it feels to lose everything

except what really matters.

I was born to live a life that would strip away everything that wasn’t real

that wasn’t true

that wasn’t me

I am a phoenix.

I am born to spread my wings and fly towards the sun

To burn up and turn to ashes

To fall down to earth and rise up again

When I am old

I will be proud of my scars

My wrinkles

My memories

My stories

My wisdom

My freedom.

I was born to be free.

And therefore, I can’t stay

Author: Sanne Burger

sanneburger.com/en/blog

JOKER

I just saw the movie "Joker" last night and it was phenomenal on so many levels to me. I know some hated it, thought it was too violent or boring or disturbing. But I was captivated by Joaquin Phoenix performance and the story behind it was deeply touching to me. I keep saying to me because this is my version of it. I’ve written before, I think in my memoir, about how I’m always drawn to the villains in movies because they usually have a reason for being that way, and it’s usually rooted from a dark childhood. The Joker is no different and it was nice to finally hear his side of the story instead of Batmans, who I really dislike, because as my daughter rightfully said he’s just a rich man with a lot of fancy gadgets. The movie shows who I believe to be a young Batman who witnessed his parents murder right before his eyes, and even met the Joker for a fleeting moment where the Joker treated him with nothing but kindness and innocence. 

So the Joker grew up being severely abused at a very young age by the men in his mothers life, while she sat idly by watching and abandoning him to all sorts of torture. Yet he grows up with her version and he ends up living with her and catering to her in her elder years, while finally killing her after he learns the real truth of her monstrous mothering skills. She was diagnosed with malignant narcissist disorder and delusional psychosis. 

I’ve always been drawn to the character of a person much more than outward beauty and always thought Pheonix to be very unattractive but in this movie, and I predicted this would happen, I was electrically charged and captivated by him from his long wavy unruly hair to his slow erotic dance performances. Apparently, I'm not the only one LOL! https://www.mensxp.com/entertainment/news/57583-the-joker-movie-is-making-people-horny-they-now-want-to-bang-the-clown-prince-of-gotham.html Yes, the laughing got a bit obnoxious and I wish the movie showed a turning point where he would learn to cry instead of laugh when he was hurting, scared, sad or angry but it didn’t  It just proved to me that some people are forever broken, through the conditioning of their abusive parents. The damage his mother caused him couldn’t be fixed. It became a part of him, and although he was not a mean person, he was actually very childlike, kind, and sensitive, the world made him finally fight back which made him feel powerful, recognized, validated, and human. He got his point across in a way society says is wrong, by killing the bad guys, those higher up on the ladder who laugh at those in the gutter, those who hurt others for entertainment and boredom, those who lie and ruin the reputation of others for their own ill gotten gains, and those who were supposed to love and protect us as children but turned the other cheek and fed us their own twisted version of the truth while telling us how to feel act and live. Yet society glorifies our soldiers who murder people in other countries we know nothing about, only someone else's version of who they are. As the Joker said, right and wrong seem to be objective and thats a whole other debate. 

I adored the Joker and was rooting him on til the end with exhilaration as the movie screen showed riots and chaos in the city. He’s a rebel, fighting against a sick society who tries to silence and ignore the cries of the forgotten, lost, and unfortunate. Who wouldn’t want to be on the underdogs side? I ask myself. Those who have no idea what it’s like to be one. I do and that’s why l'm completely and helplessly drawn to the villain in movies. 

https://youtu.be/zAGVQLHvwOY

https://www.scoopwhoop.com/entertainment/joker-quotes-that-stay-with-you-long-after-the-movie-is-over/

I'M A SOLITARY WITCH, I DON'T NEED A COVEN TO WORK MY MAGIC!

I don’t pay a professional photographer to take my yoga photos, I don’t pay for yoga classes or a personal trainer, I don’t go to AA meetings to stay sober, I don’t pay top dollar for my workout attire, and I am on no special expensive impossible diets. I shop at Marshalls, I take my own yoga photos, I don’t miss alcohol or the hangovers so I don’t need help staying away from it, I eat whatever and whenever I want, and I do just fine practicing yoga by myself in the comfort of my own home for free! It doesn’t take money nor a team of supporters to be successful. Even Rocky knew that! 

SILLY LARA

A BLOG POST BY LARA FRAZIER https://www.instagram.com/sillylara/

“We tell our stories and you call us liars. We stay silent and you say we should have spoken up.” - unknown ⁣
⁣
It’s national domestic violence awareness month and ironically, I woke up to a dream where I got back together with an ex who abused me. ⁣
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I didn’t even know it was this month until I got on social media this morning. ⁣I’ve also been writing about this so it makes sense that it was on my mind, in my subconscious.⁣
⁣
I thought of these words, in the image, on my run today, when I was remembering some of the people who abused me, in various forms - be it in a work setting, personal relationship, or via other relationships.⁣
⁣
More so, I thought of the men and women who wanted to protect my abusers - who told me to stay quiet, to shut up, to not be so vocal - to not go public, to not report. ⁣
⁣
I think of the people who told me my reality was a lie and that it wasn’t true. ⁣
⁣
I wish I would have had the strength to just say these words to them - to not have kept them in my life for so long, no matter how much I loved them.⁣
⁣
Any person who wants to gaslight my reality is not a person I want in my life. ⁣
⁣
I wish the same for you."

Written by Lara Frazier https://larafrazier.com/about
Lara Frazier is a freelance writer, a truth-teller, and an innovator. She is a FIERCE believer in the power of owning our stories and is a strong advocate for addiction recovery. Lara shares a story of healing: in sobriety, through addiction, in life and love, and in all the other big, huge moments of fear and magic that we rarely talk about, but we should.

Lara Frazier lives in the Tampa Bay area with her pig, Peaches and her partner, Austin Cooper, The founder of Sober Evolution. She received her MBA in Marketing & Global Business from Pepperdine University. After many years of working in the entertainment industry, Lara became addicted to prescription pills and left her career to seek help and find her truth.

Lara is well known in the digital recovery space as an innovator, speaker, writer, and influencer. Lara's work has been featured in publications such as The Temper, The Huffington Post, Glamour, AddictionUnscripted.Com, and WorkIt Health. 

Currently, Lara is the Digital Marketing Director for Renewal Health Group, a family of treatment centers located in Southern California. Lara continues to document her story of healing in the most authentic and vulnerable way she knows how; through her own eyes and with her whole heart.