MIND VOMIT

I've never heard the phrase "Mind Vomit", or even knew there was a legit definition of it until today. I came up with this name for my blog a few years ago because it pretty much felt like exactly that. Thoughts in my head that had to come out in order to make me feel better, relief, healthy. And it did. A lot of healing came from my writings. I understand, as I’ve been told, that my writings are hateful, mean, and all over the place. Well, that’s what’s inside my head, that’s why it’s called vomit, and vomit isn’t tasty and often does go all over the place!! My blog is not meant to be politically correct, soft and flowy, a happy place for others to grow and learn, smooth and easy to digest, or grammatically pleasing to the eye. It’s a safe place for me to vent. And looking back at when I first started writing I can see a lot of healing and softening has taken place. I’m actually shocked that people actually read and visit my blog, but I’m glad they do because I do want to be heard. Sometimes what I write takes a lot of vulnerability which isn’t easy but it must come out so I can let go and move on. Sometimes I’m shocked at what comes out and I learn more about who I am which I think more people need to do instead of keeping it all inside. So for those who regularly read my blog, if any, and think I’m a hateful uneducated weirdo, now you know the main purpose behind Mind Vomit. It’s pretty much my vomit bag and I apologize for it’s filthiness and unpleasantry, but it is a legit word and it’s definition says it all. 

mind vomit

The swift ejection of abstract ideas out of one's bonce onto paper via writing implement, keyboard or Dictaphone. Often unstructured, incoherent and out of context, the mind vomit forms the starting point for any great literary endeavour (or the content of a random and annoying email from someone claiming to have had an "awesome idea").

YOU'VE ALWAYS HAD THE POWER

You don’t need AA to quit drinking, you don’t need a yoga class to do yoga, and you don’t need to lift weights and gorge on meat to build muscle and strength. You don’t need a support system to succeed. If you really want it bad enough, look within yourself, believe in yourself, and do it. It’s possible only through YOU. Sure it helps to have a circle of family and friends to lean on for comfort support and inspiration.  But it’s possible to do it all on your own if you want it bad enough and I’m living proof of that. I quit drinking without the support of my birth family who are all addicts themselves, and no AA meetings got me through. I don’t take yoga classes and I don't follow a high protein low carb diet, yet I’m in the best shape of my life at 48 years old. We have nobody else to blame if we’re not happy with how things are. If you have people to thank for helping you get to a good place in your life then count yourself as lucky, but you wouldn’t be there without your own strength and determination. Nobody can make you happy more than you can. It takes grit courage and persistence for sure but the power has always been within yourself. You have the power and no one else. So don’t forget to thank yourself when you get there. 

EMBRACE YOUR INNER HAG

If you want to be a bad ass sexually empowered woman, embrace your inner hag.

Thats right. 

The crone. The ancient old woman. The witch. The hag. 

The crone archetype is an aspect of the feminine not exactly associated with sexuality. 

Women groom themselves to be girls. The younger the better. 

Paint those lips red and blush those cheeks like you are wet and ripe for impregnation. 

Make them believe you are in perpetual ovulation. 

Make them hard. Make them desire you

Get that face lift. Suck in that belly. Bat those lashes. 

Guess what. 

The crone doesn't give a fuck. 

And that is her power.

She embraces her spider lines and swinging, sagginesss. 

After all, this is what life does to the body of a woman...eventually!

Does that make you uncomfortable? Would you rather not see? 

Her secret threatens to corrupt you. 

She can make you wild. 

She can reveal to you your power.

Your volcanic senseless holy 

Once she opens her mouth, the jig is up.

They tell you she is crazy.

Dangerous because she has broken out of that jail cell you call restrictions. 

How would you have sex if you didn't give a fuck about how pretty you look? 

Or how flat your stomach is? 

The crone is not an object of desire. 

She is free to claim her own desire.

In a world that praises women for being objects of desire. 

Where the more lust you can seduce the more value you possess, the crone is laughing with that cackle that only women of power have. 

She does not possess the enchanting beauty of the maiden or the fertile reproductive juices of the mother. 

She no longer bleeds. She no longer bares children. 

Her sex no longer waxes and wanes with the moon, gaining and draining energy with each passing tide. 

She is full.

The portal to her blood has been sealed. 

She is drinking in the nectar. She is bathing in its luminous darkness. 

Her sex is a diamond pressed and polished by years of experience and wisdom.

She has passed through all the phases of initiation as a woman.

That heavy web of social conditions all feminine creatures are baptized into. 

She is unraveling herself from these webs. 

She has liberated her sex from all their stories.

She is making it to the other side. 

Freeing herself.

Without the ability to be a mother or a sex object, what is left of a woman and her sex?

I’ll tell you what. 

Pure power that doesn't give a fuck. 

Crazy wisdom that knows how to make love to the moment.

Sex that ripples through every authentic cell of your body.

Sex that pulses with every tiny whisper of life knowing life. 

If you want to find the seat of your sexual power.

Your real deep sovereign sexual nature. 

Find the crone that lives in you.

Wild. Ugly. Innocent. Real.

The real initiation begins here.

Author: Maya Luna

Photo Art: Sarah Peirse