SOBER IS SEXY!

Sober is sexy. Believe me this - drinking is not sexy. Drinking slowly deadens your ability to control your muscles and ,causes weight gain and water retention, wrinkles, broken capillaries and redness, lowers your inhibitions so you act outside of how you normally would were you in full control, and lowers your self-confidence. 

Waking up feeling like crap, with a sandpaper throat, bloated, with a hankering for a cheeseburger, not remembering parts of your night, or worse, remembering regrettable things you did, and an entire day stretching before you…yuck. Alcohol makes you ugly. 

2 out of 3 adults in the US drink alcohol. You're choosing to not consume something that everyone else is a slave to on some level. You're stronger than 67% of the US adult population. Anyone that tells you different is someone who has their own complicated relationship with what addiction is. 

Drinking perpetually keeps us from understanding Who. We. Are. It is culprit in developing a false sense of self and a divide between who we really are, and the person we think we have to be. Until we remove alcohol from our lives, we never get to experience the true capacity and depth of self. Removing alcohol allowed me to finally get to the bottom of who I was, and finally give her the fighting chance she deserved. We are all gems, all of us with gifts, all of us perfect little stories to unfold. Removing alcohol allows our real journey to finally begin.

https://www.hipsobriety.com/home/sobrietyisfabulous

ME 7 years sober...Not bad for a 48 yr old mother of 3! 

Health gurus are shunning gluten, dairy, meat, tap water, pesticides, antibiotics, sugar, aluminum, fluoride and conventional medicine....

And then there is booze, and it's booze, and don't fuck with our booze. Our wine and our cocktails are where our madness for wellness ends - so much so that we have begun incorporating it into our wellness - just google "Wine Yoga" and see for yourself.

Alcohol is a neurotoxin, a drug. And consuming it undermines your attempts at health and beauty in countless ways. Some of these things are apparent - how does your breath smell on a hungover Saturday morning, how do your rings fit after a night out, how red is your face the next day or the night of, how bad are those circles? Other effects are sneaky, revealing themselves only over time: Beer gut, rosacea, sallow skin, facial bloat.

Alcohol causes inflammation (which leads to myriad other health issues), dehydrates, disrupts our blood sugar balance (which makes us mood swing, binge eat, get the shakes, disrupts sleep), gunks up our liver (which means our body can't detox and also means we have trouble losing weight - toxins live in fat cells), interferes with the metabolism of nutrients (absorption), replaces healthy calories (malnutrition), changes our pH balance (causing body odor), leads to loss of sleep (which leads to a host of other things that make us look like shit), disrupts the endocrine/glandular system (as in, adrenals/energy, sex hormones/periods/sex drive, sleep cycle), accelerates the aging process, worsens skin issues (like acne), causes bloating, brittles hair, causes memory loss, shrinks gray matter, induces or worsens depressive states, causes broken capillaries/rosacea, leads to other unhealthy and/or risky behavior (like poor food choices, unprotected sex, smoking), is directly linked to certain cancers (like breast cancer). There's also that whole other part about how it addicts us, kills 1 in 10 of us, robs us of years off our lives, our dignity, our freedom, our loved ones and on and on. But it’s glorification and the abuse continues. 🤮https://www.hipsobriety.com/…/yes-alcohol-is-making-you-loo…

https://m.facebook.com/hipsobriety/

THE ALCOHOL EXPERIMENT EXPERIENCE

My husband and I went out last night to an AC/DC tribute concert. I called it the experiment experience.  We haven’t had a date night in a while so I bought tickets since AC/DC was my all time favorite band besides the Rolling Stones growing up. But my main reason was to experience for the first time since being sober a hard rock concert where I knew there would be a room full of drunks, and boy was it ever.

The band sounded pretty good and a lot like the original, even though their performance was lacking especially as the evening went on. It was obvious they weren’t the only ones getting drunker by the minute. But that’s no surprise is it, band members getting shit faced? I just never really noticed it before since I was usually shit faced too, but last night I was able to see the dramatic change.

There were only a few people who were already quite drunk before the show even started and most people were lined up at the bar getting their fix. Me and hubby ordered soda since the only other non alcoholic option was water. No catering to non drinkers? Again, no big surprise. 

About 4 songs into the concert, a man my age or a little older fell down right next to me and couldn’t get up. He was so inebriated they had to carry him off. It just so happened to be during my favorite song, “Touch Too Much” and while everyone else was dumb foundedly watching the whole sad event in utter shock, I just started dancing the same way I used to back in my younger days during an AC/DC concert. I couldn’t care less about this poor guy who had drank himself to the point of oblivion. I suppose that makes me mean and insensitive? Shocker!

The rest of the night I enjoyed people watching, which is actually one of my favorite pastimes.It only confirmed everything I’ve been saying about alcohol addiction. And I'm sure this morning most everyone there is feeling like death, wishing they hadn’t consumed so much of the substance they think they have control over. None of those people acted in control last night. Everyone of them were being controlled by the drug of alcohol and the bartenders worked their asses off to keep up with supplying their demand. They had no clue how stupid they looked and acted and I used to be one of them. 

Our next date night I want the venue to be on a more "upper class" scale.  I at least want an enjoyable atmosphere with better entertainment. But I already know from past experience the audience won't be much different.  I've seen very respectable successful people fall on there faces just like the redneck did last night. It's really quite sad and humiliating but addiction always is. 

So what did I get from this experiment? I learned that I actually enjoy going out more now sober than I ever did drunk. At lease I can remember every event from the evening before and I wake up feeling rested and refreshed with more Mind Vomit blog material! And I'm more grateful than ever that I'm finally free from the grips of the most socially destructive and glamorized drug addiction in the history of man. 

ALCOHOL IS WORSE THAN CIGARETTES

I don’t miss drinking at all but I do sometimes miss cigarettes.  Cigarettes at lease didn’t make me suffer painful hangovers, weight gain, raging mood swings, sleep deprivation, and those god awful carb cravings. No fake conversations and obnoxious behaviors either. And it didn’t cause family drama or destruction against others. I did however suffer all of those things with alcohol so why in the world would I miss it? People think they can’t have fun without booze but they used to when they were kids didn’t they? Before addiction set in? I’ve had loads of fun before I ever became addicted to the drug of alcohol, but drugs like to tell us lies like, without it we are boring and we start to depend on it.

Whenever I’m around drunks, I never once wish I could be them.  However, whenever I see someone with a cigarette sometimes I do want one, but then I remember how much better I can breath, and I  no longer have to stand outside in the freezing cold just to get my fix. I am no longer an addict but free and in control. If you think you can control your drinking you’re already out of control. People don’t say I can control my intake of spinach do they? People need to control what controls them whether it’s food or drugs. Period.

I'm addicted to Yoga and horses. If someone said I can never again have or do those things I would freak out! These things make me truly happy though. Alcohol addiction never did. 

Maybe if people were ostracized and criticized for drinking like they are for smoking they wouldn’t feel so afraid to quit. Smokers often hear “those are gonna kill ya You better quit! Those are nails in your coffin! You really need to give those up they’re gonna make you wrinkle faster!” 

Drinkers should be told the same thing! It’s a carcinogen just like cigarettes are! Alcohol not only makes you look and feel disgusting but also BEHAVE disgusting!

Why do people depend on alcohol for happiness when it doesn’t make you happy. I’ve seen many violent and angry and blubbering drinkers. Drug dependency doesn’t make anyone happy. 

If you were told you could no longer eat bananas would you feel fear? Only drug addicts fear the thought of living without their drug, non addicts don’t. You don’t have to tell me cigarettes are deadly but alcohol is the world's most dangerous drug when you consider the harm it does to drinkers, their friends, and families and to society in general. The harm that alcohol does exceeds the dangers of even heroin and crack cocaine when the overall danger to the user and others is taken into account.

You can’t say that about cigarettes. Just because our culture accepts it as good doesn't make it good. Wake the fuck up.

OUR YOUTH SPORTS CULTURE IS BROKEN

My daughter was a pitcher for the Woodgrove softball team in 2017. She never did travel softball even though coaches oftentimes invited her on their teams, and she never had a pitching coach or softball coaching of any kind. All of her friends did however which left her in what is now called “house ball” with a lot of girls who were entirely new to the sport all together and were in it simply to have fun and learn the sport. Once Livy hit high school she got accepted onto the Woodgrove softball team as pitcher. All of her friends who had years of travel ball and personal coaching under their belts were obviously better than her but her pitching skills were still strong. She pitched an entire game one night and won the game for Woodgrove. This was just weeks before she got diagnosed with the life long disease of Crohn’s. She got very thin and weak and ended up being hospitalized with an emergency surgery on her colon. I informed the team mom and her coach that night asking them to inform her teammates. We didn’t hear one word from anyone during her hospitalization or afterwards. Once returning to school her coach welcomed Elizabeth to support her team on the bench during practices and games which she did for as long as she could but she was severely sick. At the end of year softball banquet many of the parents asked me where Elizabeth had been and I was too shocked to explain. I was shocked at the lack of support towards Elizabeth and lack of communication between the coaches, team mom, and players/parents. It soured our experience with the Woodgrove softball team. Today, Livy is putting her time and energy in equestrian sports with her horse and although still struggling with her Disease on a daily basis while keeping a 4.0 average and successful horse competitions I commend her for her positive attitude and resilience during a time when not many people including myself could carry out. I thought the attached article in the link below was very well written and on point in today’s day and age of travel sports and the negative effects it has had on our community which is far different from when we were kids.

https://www.thetimesherald.com/story/sports/high-school/2019/02/06/brandon-day-our-youth-sports-culture-broken/2791281002/?fbclid=IwAR2-BtCglYevXFtACXHSbBL4Mv2bz7n4JDn-NUy0kc3DEGW9-3u0SOD3bAw

IT'S A REBELLIOUS ACT TO NOT DRINK

Why is it normal to drink and a disease to stop? I quit drinking 7 years ago cold turkey, without AA meetings or support of any kind. I just decided I was sick and tired of looking and feeling sick and tired. So I decided to quit and people looked at me with pity like I was the one with the problem. Meanwhile, they continue poisoning their bodies and acting like idiots. Alcohol isn’t normal or good for the body and recent studies have debunked any health benefits from it. Remember when the medical industry promoted cigarettes before they knew better? 

Who stops after one glass of wine or one beer? Nobody I know. I used to go days without a drink but when I had a glass of wine I couldn’t stop there and most people I know can’t either. Just like some people can’t stop at one cookie or one cigarette so if they decided to stop all together do they have a disease because they can’t have just one? And those who can have the occasional social cigarette are normal? Sure some people have an addictive personality but is that really an incurable disease? I honestly don’t miss drinking at all. I don’t miss the fake conversations, the embarrassing behavior from myself as well as others, waking up in the middle of the night riddled with guilt and shame remembering those behaviors, the carb cravings and junk food binges, the god awful hangovers and how I had aged 15 years over night when looking in the mirror. 

When I’m around people drinking I can see the steady change in their demeanor and it’s actually pretty disgusting. Not many people can socialize without boozing it up. Why is that? When does that change take place from childhood to adulthood? Why is it normalized and glamorized in our society? Why are those who no longer need that crutch looked at as diseased? Alcohol has no health benefits to our mind or our bodies. It’s a huge deception to think it does. It’s poison to the mind body and soul. It’s poison to our families and loved ones and society as a whole. It’s no better than cigarettes cocaine heroine or any other drug. I’m not saying it should be illegal because cigarettes are still legal even tho deadly. If people want to smoke and kill themselves then so be it. If people want to drink and kill themselves and others thru drunk driving, violence, etc then so be it. But don’t call those who don’t diseased or abnormal because it’s the other way around. Alcohol creates disease and abnormal behaviors abstinence does not. Don’t fall for the brainwashing propaganda of alcohol and the labels put on those who don’t imbibe. Because in a society that normalizes alcohol and the shameful behavior it causes, it’s a rebellious act to not drink.

Jason Vale's book Kick The Drink…Easily! (from which some of these arguments are based alongside Allen Carr's EasyWay) puts it the best…by comparing alcohol to cocaine. When I stopped using cocaine, I stopped using cocaine. I didn't have to accept my cocaine-aholism or identify as a cocaine-aholic, and I didn't have to justify why I didn't use coke anymore. Because using cocaine isn't an accepted societal behavior. So when we stop, we don't encounter our families snorting coke with Thanksgiving Dinner, we don't go to weddings and have to avoid coke, we don't go to someone's house and ooh and ahh over his cocaine cellar, we don't meet our friends at a coke bar to unwind after work. If we use/abuse/are addicted to cocaine and kick the addiction or use, we stop, and that is that. The same goes for every single other drug on the market. It even goes for cigarettes. But not alcohol. Because we believe everyone "should" be able to drink and those who can't as somehow defective, we assign them a label and a lifetime disease. Alcoholism. 

The attached link below made me question the label put on those who choose to no longer poison their mind body and soul with alcohol.

https://www.hipsobriety.com/home/2014/12/16/my-name-is-holly-and-im-not-an-alcoholic-because-no-one-is

THE BROKEN ARE THE MORE EVOLVED

I ♥️ this awesome quote from the movie “Split.” The first time I heard it I knew it would be written forever on me. This just so happens to be my broken arm which has a permanent plate and 8 screws from a horseback riding accident but the meaning goes much deeper than broken bones. #thebrokenarethemoreevolved

M Night Shyamalan's thriller Split explores how processing pain and suffering can make us stronger. I think Night intends for people to take away the message that pain and suffering, albeit it’s a terrible thing, but when you confront your inner enemies or the pain you have been through or the abuse or suffering, and integrate it into the rest of your being…

When a person has suffered, to be able to confront and process and heal that and claiming that part of yourself makes you stronger.

RESPECT IS FOR THOSE WHO DESERVE IT, NOT FOR THOSE WHO DEMAND IT

I offer no apology for what I am posting, for this is truly how I feel. This is my opinion not a debate. If you disagree I’m perfectly fine with that, we can agree to disagree and move along with our lives. Although, I sometimes do argue my beliefs for the sake of those who have no voice. I am ashamed but not surprised by ruthless, mean spirited hateful cruel biased immoral unethical people. Some of our country’s traditions and values are just that and are far from deserving respect and honor. Circumcision = Male Genital Mutilation being one of those traditions. I have lived through several US presidents prior to our current and I have seen and heard them all scrutinized and humiliated in some form or fashion. If Trump seems to be the worst “victim” of slander maybe we should ask ourselves why? There’s usually a reason people are disrespected hated and berated to such degrees. Leaders are not above reproach just because they are leaders. That would be dictatorship or tyranny.   And not all those in leadership positions deserve respect. That dangerous mentality can be found in everyday life. I’ve seen it my entire 48 years on this planet. Whether it’s a parent, coach, teacher, boss, pastor, or doctor. There’s nothing wrong with calling people out on their bullshit especially when others are being harmed by them. This is the main reason I hate sports. Coaches demand respect and their favorite players can do no wrong, and if they do it’s overlooked.  Kids are told to honor and respect their parents even if the parent is abusive and toxic. Many kids are forced to shut up and tolerate all kinds of disgusting abuse because our society and it’s religion says they must. Especially when it’s a mother doing the abusing, because after all EVERYONE must love mom for “giving us life.”  School is another example. A teacher was guilty of ludicrous improper conduct, yet the teacher remains and the students must learn to deal with it and show respect. Don’t even get me started on the POTUS. I see a post everyday on how they were taught the nobleness of respecting their elders no matter what. (And how their bible commands it.) I suppose this warped mindset will never change as long as people fear questioning and challenging those in higher respectable positions and the not so respectable traditions we’ve adopted. Which is why I’ve pretty much removed myself from society and surround myself with nature and animals where I belong. I’ve quit the work industry because I got sick and tired of seeing it there too. Managers and physicians never get challenged or reprimanded for immoral behavior and as long as that paycheck keeps a comin’…. respect is demanded to those who deserve none. 

A LOVER DOESN'T DISCOURAGE YOUR GROWTH

Growth requires change and sometimes the process doesn’t look so pretty. Growth is often painful but the outcome is usually worth the pain. I look back at myself when I was in my 20’s and I see a completely different person than I am now. I was extremely insecure, jealous, and uncomfortable in my own skin. And I was an alcoholic. I’m not the same person I was when I met my husband at 19. That’s interesting because if my husband loved who I was at 19 and married a completely different version of me is it possible that he could still love me for who I am today at 47? I believe true love wants the best for the other person and growth is a good thing! If we’re not changing we’re not growing. True love should embrace the other persons growing pains. They should encourage growth and accept that they are unique individuals with different passions tastes desires goals and dreams. They shouldn't try to clip the others wings or fit them into their mold of normal. Those who don’t guide and support each other during these necessary life changes often grow apart or seek another. 

The day I made the decision to become sober and leave my toxic birth family I found comfort and validation in a Christian support group for daughters of Narcissistic mothers. So of course I clung to religion as my crutch to get me through that painful time of growth! If I stayed in my comfort zone of alcoholism and my dysfunctional family role I wouldn’t have grown. I would have lived a lifetime in stagnation. Cutting ties with a dysfunctional birth family is worse than a divorce and one of the bravest most painful things a person can go through. Looking back now I’m amazed and proud of myself for being able to do it! I didn’t rely on AA meetings to quit drinking I relied on myself. It wasn’t god giving me the strength and wisdom to walk away, it was me. I had to delve into religion to find out it is flawed and fraudulent, and even though I have regrets for hurting my husband and children during that time, it was a time of much needed growth and I learned a great deal about myself, religion, politics, and our country. Things that most people don’t know or even care to talk about.

I’m now at a time in my life where I no longer find comfort or belonging amongst people as much as I do alone in nature and amongst animals. I have no idea what kind of growth is coming my way, but I’m excited to venture in and find out! I don’t ever want to stop growing. I also want my children to grow and will offer support and encouragement through their own unique journey. The good, the bad, and the ugly. 

I'D RATHER HAVE A WORLD FULL OF POTHEADS THAN DRUNKS

I have no problem with alcohol or people enjoying it but I do have a problem with drunks and people abusing it. I’m not perfect and I’ve had my fair share of abusing booze myself so I know how destructive selfish and obnoxious it makes us. I also know every trick in the book drunks use to justify and disguise their toxic behaviors. Being perfect has nothing to do with it. Being responsible and accountable does. We are expected to be responsible law abiding citizens but for some reason, when it comes to booze, responsibility legality and accountability goes out the window. 

Why is booze so glorified? I often hear parents brag about buying their underage college kids booze. They provide endless booze to the underaged at football tailgate drunk fest's while the cops just tip their hats as they quietly walk by with a grin.. Again, I have nothing against enjoying alcohol. Abusing it, breaking the law, and bragging about it? Yeah, that’s a problem. Especially when these drunks end up on the highway and marijuana is demonized. 

It’s one thing to see teens or college brats drunk off their asses but it’s quit repulsive to see grown adults doing it. This is the main reason I quit drinking all together (besides the painful paralyzing hangovers) because I saw how disgusting and humiliating my certain family member was while drunk and my greatest fear was to turn into THAT. Besides, alcohol makes you fat and ugly!

Drunks are glorified and yet pot smokers stigmatized. I would much rather live in a society of stoners than loud obnoxious and belligerent drunks. They’re everywhere! Facebook is full of “glorified drunks” going off on tangents only to wake up the next morning to delete all of their shameful ignorant comments and posts. And as usual, they make a joke of it because after all “it was the booze talking NOT THEM.” Meanwhile, everyone is expected to forgive forget and move on as if nothing ever happened until the next drunken episode. BULLSHIT on that! 

What's my problem with drunks? Maybe because I’m a former drunk, (like ex smokers are supposedly the worst to rail against smokers) I see my old self in them and remember the pain I caused others? Maybe because I was raised by and surrounded with drunks most of my miserable childhood? Maybe because of the hypocrisy of how pot smokers are “criminalized” yet drunks, who ARE the biggest destroyer of families and love and all that is good, are  glorified and tolerated. 

I’ll continue exposing drunks for what they really are as they continue calling "pot heads" deadbeats. No pothead is as dangerous and destructive as a drunk. Drunks are obnoxious, loud, and aggressive individuals who leave lasting scars on their children and loved ones but are too selfish and defensive to see it and admit it. You wanna get inebriated? Go for it! Just stay the fuck off the roads, lock yourselves in a room away from any children, animals, and computers and stay there until you are no longer a threat to society and your families!  I have no problem with that...Have fun :)

DRUNKS AND PERVERTS

There are 2 things I have zero tolerance for. Drunks and perverts. They both hurt others through their selfish crass ways while expecting everyone to endlessly over look their hurtful behavior as if it never happened while having no intention of stopping.

When drunks and perverts are called out on their disgusting shameful behavior they are masters at diverting and gas lighting to relieve themselves of any accountability or blame. They make light of their hurtful behavior with humor and expect others to forget what they did or said until the next time and it’s a never ending merry-go-round from hell that will leave you extremely nauseated.

I grew up with both drunks and perverts so I quickly learned the skill of pretending things didn't REALLY happen to keep "peace" in the house.  I did this for most of my life and that is why it’s now extremely difficult for me to ignore people who hurt or disrespect me and others. I will gladly call drunks and perverts out on their disgusting behavior while having nothing more to do with them because I KNOW they will repeatedly do it without shame. They are masters at this twisted game. Some think I'm over reacting but after years of never reacting to anything I am now the complete opposite. Instead of ignoring and allowing those toxins to build up which eventually exploded in self destructive ways, I acknowledge bullshit and confront it head on. Most drunks and perverts (and their enablers) can’t handle this and that’s okay! 

I’m living a life of peace and serenity that I only dreamed of with my many animals, husband, and kids and I will no longer tolerate drunks and perverts. I have faith in myself and I don’t need others to have faith in me to feel happy or whole and that my friends... is priceless.  Besides, alcohol makes you fat and ugly.

COURAGE IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF FEAR

If more men were consumed with passionate indignation for what was done to them as children the sexual mutilation of boys in America would end tomorrow. I could say the same thing about families of any abuse. There’s always one who finds the courage to stand up and say enough is enough and there’s always cowards who stand on the side of the abuser out of fear and “loyalty” while mocking and ostracizing the victim, therefore the cycle of abuse continues without repercussion. It’s a selfish act to deny abuse and a very courageous one to expose it. Men who are too scared to face their rage regarding their sexual mutilation are the very ones who are keeping the cutting culture alive and well. It’s a protective mechanism of the ego to deny.  It’s thinking more about how much pain it will cause instead of the need to save others from the pain. It’s cowardly and selfish and all too common.  Not everyone can handle it. But those who are courageous enough are the most selfless and loving of all. They risk destroying their own ego for the sake of helping and saving others. We need more heroes and less egotistical cowards to end this injustice against men in America. I guess that’s why heroes are so admired and envied because deep down maybe everyone wishes they had the courage to act in the presence of fear for the good of others.    

AMERICAN CIRCUMCISION DOUBLE STANDARDS

Should we start cutting off breast buds of infant girls? To prevent cancer? Without anesthesia?

Or cutting little girls genitals to prevent STD’s, odors, and infections? Without anesthesia?

It’s really no use to compare Female Genital Mutilation to Male because even if it was just a nick or a snip of the labia (which is much less destructive than male circumcision) with anesthesia in a sterile hospital with skilled surgeons…people would still protest it and call it mutilation and human rights violation. It’s really not about what’s more barbaric, or preventative medicine. It’s about cultural conditioning and sexism. One sex has legal rights to protect them from genital cutting while the other does not. One sex is seen as being born perfect, the other is not. One sex is seen as diseased dirty and a sexual health hazard in need of surgical amputation, the other is seen as cleaner and easily treatable with antibiotics. One is unable to be trusted to clean themselves properly needing parental and medical intervention, the other is perfectly capable and any obsession with someone else cleaning her is seen as sexually inappropriate. 

Americans have no right to condemn female genital mutilation in other countries until it stops mutilating it’s men at birth. 

THE BODY SHAMING OF AMERICAN MEN

The real body shaming isn’t those who speak out against male genital mutilation. It’s those who shame boys genitals as being so diseased and dangerous to society that it must undergo surgical modification-amputation at birth. Little boys are told that it's beneficial to cut on their genitals at birth. But it's illegal to do on sisters. They learn early on that there is something physically wrong with them, they weren't born perfect like girls. They are told to be grateful, it’s for the health of future sex partners, and it looks better. This is body shaming to the max and they grow up believing it! BUT.. girls are born perfect.
A culture that sees this body modification and shaming as a normal and acceptable tradition will call those who speak out against it mean, insensitive, and hateful towards these male victims. Just like cultures that cut little girls. Any speaking out against it will cause them much backlash. Unfortunately, it is a sex organ that we’re talking about. Therefore, the repercussions will effect sex! For BOTH partners! Pro cutters don’t want this information exposed so they try desperately to shut us up by accusing US of shaming! It’s not shaming men to expose what the cutters caused. The cutters shamed his perfectly natural-born beautiful body.

It doesn’t matter if YOU think cut genitals look better! It’s his body his choice. The male penis is not a birth defect and does not require surgical repair! Boys are born just as perfect as girls! Stop the body shaming of little boys. 

SOME DAY HE WILL

Some day he will grow up to defend this with all his might

He will even be proud of it, while mocking and shaming those who were lucky enough to be spared the torture

Some day, women will only prefer sex with his fellow victims calling the lucky ones gross, because it's  normal in their homeland.

What seems normal isn't always natural or good

Question everything 

And never defend your abuse...

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

It’s scientifically proven that children who come from abusive families or have endured trauma will negatively effect them into adulthood. However, everyone reacts differently to abuse. Some grow up to harm others and some harm themselves through addictions, cutting, etc.  So why would the trauma of sexual mutilation at birth be any different? Especially when their sexuality has been permanently altered for life! (See IMPRINTING) They may not remember it but the amputation scar and sexual dysfunctions are something that can’t be “forgotten” or “healed”. Some boys don’t even realize they are different than the norm until they see a whole penis. When they find out the truth many will experience PTSD with this painful secret. Some will choose denial as a coping mechanism like many other victims of childhood abuse. Some refuse denial and confront their abusers causing a rift and separation between family and friends. Our culture has a very hard time accepting that some family members, even mothers, are cruel and dangerous and deserve to be ostracized for sanity and safety reasons. This is the greatest reason many men choose denial because who wants to admit their own mother could do something so heinous? 

Those who remain in denial will suffer less outside confrontation but they are still victims of abuse and will find other ways of dealing with it.  Although denial can be the easy way out it is of no help for future generations. 

I come from a highly dysfunctional family of alcoholics and sexual predators. I broke out of denial and bravely confronted my abusers and it DID cause friction and separation. They refused to accept their wrongdoing, especially my own mother. It’s one thing to make horrible choices and apologize with remorse and accountability, but it’s another to make light of the abuse and refuse accountability. My mother could only say “that was the past, get over it, I did the best I could, only god can judge me, you’re over reacting” The very same words many victims of MGM hear when they confront their mother with their abuse. It’s no accident that mothers are given the greatest control in the hospital regarding their baby boy’s. It’s taboo to confront our loving mothers with our pain, anger, and distraught that THEY caused us! 

I live to give a voice to other victims in the hopes of saving future generations from abuse. But the sad thing is, although I have lifelong emotional wounds, my body is not permanently altered. I can also go to a therapist or friend and get validation for my wounds whereas victims of MGM can not. Our society whether it’s doctors, therapist, family members or friends mock and ridicule these men. It’s the most shameful thing America continues to do to our men and I want no part of it. Silence is being a part of it, just like my siblings who choose to live in denial and continue relations with my toxic parents. I can comprehend it, but I can not tolerate. Speaking truth while exposing the lies is the greatest weapon against abusers and they fear it like the plague. Keep speaking no matter how much they try to silence you and even if your voice shakes. 

THE "AMERICAN" PENIS

SEX AS NATURE INTENDED IT
As an American woman I didn't even know what a normal penis looked like. I had only been with cut men. Every porn movie or magazine I had seen only showed cut penises. I didn't even know what circumcision really meant when I heard the word only that it's xtra unnecessary dirty skin. Every medical book I saw shows a cut penis as if that's a normal penis. I never ever saw a real penis until I researched male nudity through the internet a couple years ago for a blog I was writing on "Men are beautiful too" I searched for male nude art black and white photography. Little did I know they were all natural penises probably from Europe not American men. I found these penises to be so beautiful and somehow different than any I've ever seen. Now I know why! In a country where they keep normal penises and education hidden so cunningly it's easy to see how ignorance is so common. I'm ashamed of my country not proud. We're not free. And it's time to stop glorifying the female body while degrading the males! Men are beautiful too!!!

REGRET PARENTS OF MALE GENITAL MUTILATION

A true regret parent will validate their son’s pain and admit what they did was evil and unforgivable. A true regret parent will not remain silent but will protest against MGM and educate as many people about male genital mutilation as they can. A true regret parent will be understanding of their sons emotions and never tire of listening to them express themselves. HOWEVER, a true regret parent is NEVER deserving of abuse or bullying. If they are truly remorseful they will do whatever it takes whether it’s paying for tugging devices, going after the cutters, or just being a place to vent. For truly regret parents the only way they can live with themselves is to be outspoken about MGM and they should NEVER be told to remain silent. There are more happily cut men speaking out than there are unhappily cut men which is understandable but at the same time disgusting and cowardly.  Shame and egos are the biggest stumbling blocks to ending MGM and the cutters know it. Parents who refuse to admit their crime are only thinking of themselves and their reputation. It’s very narcissistic for a parent to not acknowledge they have fucked up beyond repair just as it is for a man to defend his mutilation to protect his own ego at the expense of babies everywhere. 

Those who are brave enough to speak about such a taboo subject in our indoctrinated cutting society are golden and should never be berated, hated, or scorned. To do so only feeds the criminals and the crime. People who say we should calm down, relax, and channel our energies into more positive things should be locked in a room to watch a circumcision video with the volume turned up until they feel otherwise. Slavery never ended by quenching normal human emotions triggered by human injustice and torture and neither will the sexual mutilation of men.  This is war and war knows no mercy. 

A REGRET MOM

I wish the World Wide Web was at my fingertips when my son was born and I knew now what I didn't know then. My husband and I were tricked conned and lied to. These bastards who hold the knife get off without a word while parents are left with guilt, anger, self loathing, and threats.

It's easy now to educate oneself in the age of information and to wake up from the deep indoctrination and lies that those who we thought are looking after our best interest are really the ones trying to destroy us. I'm a regret mom and I have every fucking right to be pissed off. I will never trust the medical industry again and although my son says he's fine and has no issues or hard feelings I will never forgive myself for allowing that bastard of a man to permanently scar my beautiful son for life.

If I were to hide in silence and shame, as many people tell me to do, I would be an enabler which I will not do. I will NOT suffer in silence. Regret parents have just as much right to speak out and are often more courageous to speak up about it than men because most men would rather die silently than admit their penises are broken.

Silence feeds the mutilators. It's time to get louder.

WHY RIC (ROUTINE INFANT CIRCUMCISION/MGM (MALE GENITAL MUTILATION) IS WORSE THAN RAPE

Why RIC/MGM is worse than rape

• 
  
• Abuse is always worse when done to children let alone infants
• It's paid for and done at the consent of his parents
• Therapists, doctors and family members offer no support or validation to the victims only condemnation, ridicule and one-upmanship
• Victims are told to be grateful for it 
• Rape is seen as bad in society but RIC/MGM is seen as healthy, good and necessary
• In order to prove RIC/MGM is bad to a blind society it involves shaming the victim to expose the negative sexual effects of their unnecessary amputation from the best part of their penis.
• It oftentimes creates chaos and hatred among family members, loved ones, and the opposite sex
• Victims are forced to keep their emotions bottled up to prevent further pain and embarrassment
• It's legal but girls are protected
• The victim's natural body is seen as a diseased dirty threat to the health of society
• They don't remember their rape but they have lifelong scars to remind them of it
• It causes brain damage from the first days of life
• I know there's many more...feel free to add to the list

A VOICE FOR THE UNHAPPILY CIRCUMCISED MAN

When parents, physicians, and therapists belittle a man expressing his anger, shock, and confusion regarding his RIC (Routine infant circumcision) imagine what that does to him? Not all men suffer from or even care that their penises were cut at birth. But many men do and in a society that is full of genital cutters and supporters these men feel isolated and abnormal, simply for wishing they had the whole body they were born with. Instead it was stolen from them, maybe thrown away in the garbage or maybe sold to medical research companies. This is criminal! yet our culture is so heavily indoctrinated from either religion or the medical community that they don’t even flinch an eye at it.

What kind of person does it take to ignore the screams and struggles of a helpless infant as they cut away at his little penis. What kind of parent does it take to listen to their teenage or adult son voice his rage, or despair about what was amputated from him and feel no remorse only defensiveness and anger? What kind of therapist can listen to a man complain that he can’t have sexual relations with a women, because of his RIC and tell him he’s got a mental disorder? What kind of physician does it take to mock a man who wants to invest in foreskin restoration? And what kind of effect will these human reactions have on the victim and his view of the world? It’s worse than rape on so many levels because it involves amputation of a sexual organ and society offers no legal medical or emotional support for the victims.

Maybe this is why I have such contempt for men who brag about their circumcised penises. I’ve never said a circumcised man is less of a human being, not deserving love or respect. That’s what people here however when presented with the effects of this sex crime. I understand it’s a fine line and maybe i’ve crossed that fine line and for that I am sorry if I’ve offended circumcised men or made them feel bad about themselves. That’s not my mission. I admit I do tend to be radically extreme but this crime is radically extreme and after reading hundreds of stories from men who are suffering 24/7 both mentally and physically I can’t help but be anything else. These men deserve a voice. I’m not doing this for the happily circumcised man but for the men who are mocked, ridiculed, and ignored by their parents, the medical industry that did this to them, therapists,friends and family. I know what it’s like to be abused and ostracized for exposing the abuse/abuser. Though mine can’t even compare to having my genitals mutilated and being told to shut up about it and move on.

WHAT'S DONE TO CHILDREN THEY WILL DO TO SOCIETY

I have every reason to hate men since my bio dad was nothing more than a sperm donor the night my mother fucked him while married to my siblings father, and my step father was a Malignant Narcissist exhibitionist who made my childhood a living hell on earth. But I don’t hate men.. in fact I love men and struggle with loving women. I find enablers of abuse much more vile than the abusers themselves. My mother allowed all 4 of her children to be sexually, physically, and mentally abused by the men in her life and when I called her out for it I became the enemy of not only her but my siblings as well. Maybe that’s why I’m for the underdog, those without a voice, and the villain in all superhero movies? It seems the villain is the way they are for a reason. They are acting out because of what was done to them. It’s not an excuse but a reason. An explanation. And until they shed light on lies and their abuse they will continue to hurt and destroy others. Then there are those spineless cowards who enable the abusers vile behaviors because they’re too afraid to upset their own lives. I think of Dottie Sandusky . The evil bitch who defended her husband and vilified his victims for speaking out.

My step father was given up to live with his grandparents by his own mother while keeping his younger brother. Abandonment and rejection by ones own mother is severe abuse that will leave lasting scars. It’s no wonder my step father was a serial adulterer and womanizer constantly seeking the attentions and approval of women while cheating on my mother. To the outside world he was charming smart funny and successful. But behind closed doors to his own family he was a hateful monster. All the characteristics of a Malignant Narcissist. Since I've cut ties with him, my mother, and my siblings who stand by his side, I’m able to see things clearly. Although I detest him as a person, I also pity him. What his mother did to him doesn’t excuse his behaviors but it’s the reason he is so fucked up. Up until the death of his mother he still adored and respected her, hoping to get the love and affection he craved but never got. If only he confronted her and expressed his pain and anger maybe he would have taken the road of recovery and self reflection. But instead he denied it and let it eat him up inside. Malignant Narcissists loath themselves which is why they do what they do.

I hate his mother for the bitch that she was and the monster she created but a part of me feels sorry for the monster who made me the broken person that I am. It takes a lot of courage to shed light on those who abused you but it’s the only road to recovery and because I no longer have my mother or siblings in my life I was able to heal not only from alcohol and drug abuse but give a voice to my inner child and learn to love myself. I find strength and healing in giving others, especially MEN a voice. What’s done to children they will do to society. Denial is a dangerous thing and although the mind may forget the body never does which is why PTSD is very real. Society needs to realize women aren’t the only victims of abuse and they can be just as perverted evil and abusive as men if not more so.