ADDICTS IN DENIAL

It’s always bewildering when drinkers congratulate me on my sobriety, saying how proud they are of me. Meanwhile, they themselves can't live without booze. It's actually really annoying. It's like a crack addict congratulating someone who no longer uses crack. As if there's nothing wrong with using crack, but something wrong with those who can't “control” their crack. See how twisted it sounds? You don't need to be an alcoholic to have a drinking problem. Meaning, you don't need to drink every single day to be addicted to alcohol. Most social drinkers are addicted to alcohol and wreak havoc on the lives of many. It's finally been proven, there are zero benefits to drinking. It's also been labled the most dangerous drug of all drugs when you take into account the ripple effect.  Drunk driving fatalities, domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, etc. It's no surprise to me since I've used most every drug out there, and have been around all types of drug users to see the effects each one brings.

I have only met 2 people in my life who can stop at one drink. The majority can't. Those who say they don't have a drinking problem, I say try going 3 months without a drink, or better yet, stop after one drink and see how it goes. Most drinkers can't imagine it, let alone do it.  Drinkers who congratulate those of us who no longer drink, believe they are “special” because they can "handle their alcohol", but upon observation they obviously can not. Anyone who can't have fun or get through life unless they use alcohol are drug addicts. And the mere thought of others who are able to function and enjoy life without alcohol, makes drinkers defensive. So they pat us on the back and try convincing us that they can take it or leave it. Sure they can..these addicts need to feel superior and in control, through denial, in order to protect their fragile egos. Addiction kills pride, and people with injured pride try building themselves up through denial and silly lies. Sadly, they also like to deny the chaos and misery they bring into the lives of everyone around them. Drug addicts are extremely selfish untrustworthy toxic people. 

But shouldn't I show more compassion to addicts, since I was once one myself? No, I don't need to show compassion for drug addicts living in denial because they are dangerous selfish deceitful liars who bring great harm and destruction to the lives of many. I do, however, have compassion for addicts who admit they have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and are making efforts to get sober, and better their lives. These are courageous people of integrity worthy of much respect and admiration. Drug addicts are not the victims, they are the perpetrators. Until they admit the harm they cause with a desire to change. The true victims are their loved ones and all who come in contact with the addict. These victims suffer greatly because the addict has no intent on changing or stopping, and NO amount of compassion will make them change.

If your argument is, “hate the sin not the sinner”, “blame the drug not the druggie”, I agree.  Which is why it’s insulting and pathetic to hear drinkers congratulate me for no longer drinking. Because they are insinuating that I am the problem, not the drug. Because I can't “handle” the drug, I am somehow diseased, weak and out of control. This helps affirm their fantasy that they are superior over people who gave up the drink.  It’s an irrational and pompous attitude and causes many to feel shame about giving up alcohol for fear of looking like a diseased out of control alcoholic. “Alcohol is the only drug on earth you have to justify NOT taking” Annie Grace

Alcohol is a highly addictive drug, (like most drugs) not to mention a class 1 carcinogen. No one is above it. 

The thing with alcohol addiction is you can look perfectly healthy and together on the outside, while your insides are slowly being poisoned to death. Our bodies can take a lot of abuse but with age everything catches up. It begins to show in our hair and skin, puffy tired eyes, bloated belly, digestive issues, not to mention the roller coaster moods, failed relationships, and complete lack of self-respect, self-worth, and integrity. Addiction is a very slow process. It gets you hooked and then lies to you that you're fine, you can quit whenever you want, you're successful and healthy and have a great life. Until you aren't and you don't. So next time you see someone proudly announce their freedom from alcohol make sure you aren't an addict yourself before you congratulate them. You have no right to voice your opinions while you live in denial and deceit about your own alcohol problem. You have no business telling them how proud you are of them, when you don’t see alcohol for the poison and destroyer of all good things, that it is. You are the one who has a problem, not them, because you’re the one who must use the drug to cope with life. Unless of course you intend to join the growing number of people who are realizing life without drugs is much more fulfilling and fun. Then you should tell them what an inspiration they are to make you rethink your own relationship with alcohol and your desire to stop poisoning your mind, body and lives of those around you. 

THE SUBSTANCE

THE STEPFORD WORLD

 I saw Demi Moore's new movie last night, "The Substance" Let me just say, it was full of hidden messages that make it worth seeing, once you get beyond the ridiculously insane visual effects. It's a sci-fi horror flick, but I consider it more of a reality drama, and much more sad than scary. Demi plays a woman who is facing the horrifying truths about ageing in a youth obsessed world. She, like billions of women, struggles with letting go of her youthful appearance, and chooses to take a substance that will give her back her childlike skin and teenage body. Demi, like most, forgets that we don't lose ourselves when we age. We are still the same person we always were. But she tries killing off her "old" looking self and re-creates a new and improved younger version of herself. But as always, it backfires. The Substance ends up making her look like a monster.

The character hates herself and holes up in her apartment watching TV all day. She has no friends, no hobbies, and no purpose.  She looks back at her younger self with love and admiration as if they were two distinct people. Her career, which was 100% dependent on her looks and vitality, ends abruptly when her perverted misogynist boss, Dennis Quad, replaces her with a much younger woman. In desperation she buys into the lie that a secret formula,  "The Substance" can give her back her life and youth. But this comes at a deadly cost. It requires continual maintenance, and it begins sucking the life out of her, making her angry, exhausted and miserable, while obsessing over that youthful beauty. She's never satisfied obviously. She can't get enough, she keeps going back for more and more. As with women today who are obsessed with cosmetic surgeries, fillers, artificial hormones, botox, etc. until they no longer look normal and have become a fake version of themselves. 

The character feels like a fraud, and becomes extremely paranoid. Out of desperation, she reaches out to an old highschool classmate to reconnect, but because she hates what she sees in the mirror and keeps comparing herself to her younger self, she stands him up and stays locked away in seclusion. She hates who she is becoming, and longs for who she was. When in reality she has always been the same beautiful person, but sadly, fell for the lie that ageing is a disease needing a cure. Today, menopause is being treated like a disease needing a cure the same way wrinkles and ageing are. Who profits from this? Not women. The beauty industry, Big Pharma, and perverted old men who get their rocks off on young beautiful girls at the expense of these girls health and happiness. These con-men don't give a damn about women's well being. As long as they keep smiling, stay compliant, happy and eager to please, they will continue destroying all that is good and true and wholesome. It's a corrupt business. Fortune and fame come at a deadly cost. But, imagine the power that comes with being content and satisfied with who we are and the changes that come with time. With not needing the approvals of men and others to feel worthy and whole. With finding purpose in making a mark in the world through good deeds, and meaningful contribution, instead of how young and perfect we look. I can imagine it would put these money hungry perverts out of business, and make the world a much better place to live in. 

The movie was way over the top on many levels, and I'm actually shocked that Dennis Quad and Demi Moore starred in such a film. But I think they saw the important hidden messages too and the need to expose it, and on that point alone made it worth seeing and staring in.  Demi Moore is gorgeous as always but she has unfortunately taken many a "substance" to try keeping her youthful looks, but if she didn't Hollywood wouldn't want her... so there's that. Corruption abounds in this wonderful life we share, and it's what keeps things interesting I suppose. I sure love a movie that makes me think and this one will keep me thinking for days.  

BTW.. this comes days after Sean P. Diddy Combs, was sent to the country’s most dangerous “hell on earth” prison and denied bail twice for sexually torturing, abusing, and exploiting young women for decades, sending an enormous warm wave of justice and validation to women everywhere.

“SOCIAL DRINKERS”

 

ADDICTS IN DENIAL

Let’s stop normalizing "social drinking”as if it’s benign and harmless. Social drinking can cause alcohol related deaths by disease, spousal abuse or drunk driving. Social drinking can destroy marriages and families. Social drinking can cause violence and harm to innocent bystanders. There is nothing normal about drinking a poison that impairs judgment and self-control, increases impulsiveness and recklessness. I've never seen alcohol bring out the best in anyone. I dont have to run down the list of obnoxious behaviors that it brings out of people, we've all been there and we've all witnessed it in others way too many times. Just because someone only drinks socially, doesn't mean they are not dependent on the drug. They need it to function in a social setting. Without it they can't have fun, or be comfortable in their own skin.  That's a classic sign of addiction, there are many levels of it. Let's stop justifying and normalizing drug addiction just because it's only done "socially". Most drug users prefer to be around their own kind. If you enjoy being around your drunken friends and family go for it. I personally find it very boring but that’s just me. Also, there's an extremely low percentage of social drinkers who can stop at just one, most go beyond the limit and become a completely different person.

*****************************

Sobriety is not for the weak. My life got harder and more complicating when I quit drinking because I couldn’t numb myself to the realities of life, with its normal highs and lows. Instead, I had to feel everything and learn how to deal with it, which caused me to learn healthy self soothing skills when life gets tough. When I drank I just ran from life. Now I’m able to accept things and ride the storm knowing “this too shall pass”. Taking the good with the bad, realizing nothing lasts forever. Nobody’s life is all fun and games no matter what social media shows us. It takes balls to live sober! 💪